Why You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself To Other People
From my personal experience, comparing yourself to other people is one of the worst things you can do in life.
1) It’s self-destructive
2) Everyone is different and nobody can be like you (which is pretty amazing!)
I write this article because I used to compare myself a lot to other people, especially when I was around sixteen. Then, when I reached my twenties and whenever I become aware that I return to my old patterns, I say stop and take a deep breath. I’m sure many of you use Facebook and check other people’s accounts, just to see what they are up to. I used to do it as well, but I don’t do it that often anymore because it makes me feel unhappy. You see that one of your classmates went to the university you wanted to go or maybe you have a friend who posts so many pictures from her relationship. Then you begin to think and ask questions such as? Why not me? Why him or her? Then you begin to think: Life is unfair! This is the famous scenario which you should definitely AVOID DOING. Because you have to ask yourself: Are these pictures real? Do they represent the reality of their life? As a writer for Huffington Post explains it to teens and young adults:
‘When you are browsing your “news feed,” remember that your friends have chosen to expose a very thin layer of their existence.’
I totally agree with her. So you have no idea what is going on in their life. They might be happy and sometimes you want to smash their grinning faces with a piece of cake. Honey, DON’T!
We also don’t need Facebook and other social networks such as LinkedIn to compare ourselves with other people. In real life, we know people and we envy them for certain things that we don’t have in our own life. Our neighbour has maybe a good-looking boyfriend, you sister’s sense in fashion is flawless and your classmate is getting on your nerves with her excellent grades. We could continue and the list would still never end to a certain point.
How can we change this behaviour? You have to accept who you are and what you have. I’m sure that you have at least one quality that many people admire in you and even if I don’t know you, while I’m writing this piece, I know already that you’re awesome. What I suggest is to make a list of qualities you have, starting with your strengths and your weaknesses. Take a lot of time and you should enjoy doing it because it allows you to distance yourself in order to get a new perspective. YOU are the centre; you can forget the rest for a while!
What also helps is to maybe take a day off from your friends and social contacts and do something alone. You could see a movie, visit a café on your own, see the exhibition, and maybe do some crafting.
If you continue comparing yourself to other people, you will never be happy and maybe even drift away from your own aims and dreams. For example, I was selected as one of the ten finalists for a writing competition, but didn’t win. I was a bit disappointed, but after a few days I was relieved that I didn’t win the prize. What made a difference however was when someone from the judging panel came up to me and encouraged me to continue writing. I know already that I will have a much better experience, which conforms with my wishes. That goes the same with university, jobs, relationships and any other aspects of your life. What your friend had might not have been the right opportunity for you, but something better will await you.
Pictures:
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