Her Story: My Single Life
In my 19 (almost 20) years of life, I have decided to stay, for the most part, completely single. This decision has resulted in several first date encounters that do not continue to second, an overwhelming large consumption of potato based foods and more recently, a realisation that 1) men almost always let you down and 2) going into my twenties as a singleton, might be for the best.
Up until now, my single-hood hasn’t really been questioned, which makes perfect sense because teenage relationships tend to be just that- teenage relationships. This means that I’ve managed to avoid the dreaded question at family events and the intrusive manner that friends seem to deem appropriate when one chooses to remain alone. However, I fear it is beginning. Unluckily for me, I am slightly younger than the rest of my peers, which makes me a 19 year old who’s ¾ years through her degree. This means I’ll have a full time job and career at the ripe age of 21. So why then have I chosen to be single?
Easy.
I have yet to find someone who makes me laugh as much as my friends do & that I fancy as much as my parents still do each other. It’s the winning combination. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on a number of dates where I’ve bent over in my chair laughing, trying to catch my breath between giggles and gulps of wine but no matter what anybody else will tell you, it’s only ever friendship unless you fancy them too. And it’s not that I’m really shallow and into looks, because nothing’s more boring than talking to someone who has nothing interesting to say, no matter how good their teeth or hair! Begging the question: are there no good men left? Well that’s inconclusive (granted), but I do know that my friends are finding them and keeping them.
Which leads to the almost more alarming question. Who here seems to be the common denominator? Myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt myself very often. I have plenty of confidence, maybe more than required. I can speak for hours to anyone, and I’m interested in loads of different things; let it just be said, I have great legs. I’m a catch!
And this is where I draw my conclusion.
Is it boys that are doing it all wrong? In my case? Yes! On the whole? probably not. Faith in boyhood has not vanished completely, merely dwindling date by date. I believe that however much magazines and tabloids throw relationships and happy couples in my face, it just isn’t for me right now. And that’s okay. If right now is just right now, then we shouldn’t be stressing or searching for our spouses. I’m simply saying not right now! We are surrounded by a whole generation of men, aspiring to the likes of the Geordie Shore cast, and until the childish arrogance starts to go out of fashion, I think the best decision is to choose to be single. This comes with a lot of perks! I get to decide what I want to do and when, to go to different countries and live for three months because I have nobody else to consider, to eat the food I want to eat and not have to consider someone else’s palette, to play my own favourite music in the car and to decide when and if I choose to go on a date and meet someone new. Look at it this way, if relationships are like money, then I‘d rather be the girl who finds £20 by accident when walking along to road, than the girl who brought her money out too early, loosing it in the wind and having to get more from somewhere else.
And so, as I approach my twentieth year I say to you, fellow singletons, do not dwell on the aloneness but the freedom that single-hood brings. Remind yourself when watching you’re favourite programme that you’re not having to pause and explain the plot to a less clued up and frequently grim-smelling male. Why spend your twenties in a boring routine with the same person when you could stumble through the next few years, wine glass in hand, kissing strangers and enjoying the company of your friends.
I choose to be single.
From one Kate Moss waiting for her Pete Doherty to another, don’t doubt yourself, when everyone else tries to get back in the game in three years time, you’ll be the one on top. So, cheers! And congrats on choosing to be unapologetically you, settling for no less than amazing and making memories. This is the youngest you’ll ever be, you may as well live!
HCXO