Okay, collegiettes. You all know that the new year means reuniting with your besties. It’s human nature to adhere to the status quo, sticking with the friend groups you started with as underclassmen. Perhaps you’ve refrained from breaking the ice with new people. Or maybe you’re a transfer student and you think you’ll have a hard time acclimating within a population that has already established friend circles! New year, new classes, new internships—make this year one filled with new people, too! If you’re looking for ways to broaden your social circle, here are a few ideas.
1. Say “hey” to the person you sit next to in class.
People in classes with you may have similar career-related goals, so you could become friends over hours of #struggles and #stuDYING. When you’re slaving away together until the AM trying to finish a project, some quality bonding is inevitable.
2. Dip your toes in a new club or organization.
Interested in cooking? Fashion? Music? Murder mysteries? There are people with similar interests! Unlike meeting people in class, becoming friends with people you meet in clubs should be even easier. After all, members are more likely to share your passion for murder mysteries than the girl who always dozes off in econ halfway through her breakfast granola bar.
Afsara Zaheed, a recent grad from Northwestern University, explains how her involvement in volunteer clubs helped her expand her social circle during her last two years of college. “As a commuter, and as a pretty introverted person, I didn’t meet as many people in college as I wanted in general,” admits Afsara. “And once I had my core set of good friends, I didn’t really seek out making new ones, but the groups really did allow me to expand my circle. Especially because with every passing year, new people (underclassmen) join.”
Speaking of new people…
3. Make freshmen and transfers feel at home.
This year, there’ll be hundreds or thousands of fresh faces trying to adjust to the culture of your university. People will always be looking for a welcoming smile and source of comfort. Hey—sounds like two things you can provide!
4. Go to lunch with your coworkers.
Coping with la vida broka can be more fun if you become friends with people you work with! It’s certainly more bearable to spend the day talking about Pretty Little Liars than to endure hours of awkward silence or empty “How are yous.”
5. Be a good neighbor.
If you no longer live in a dorm, you probably can’t rely on res life culture to create a cohesive friend group anymore. No worries—there’s plenty of friend-making potential in the realm of apartment life!
See if you can establish a connection with your neighbors. Your acquaintanceship (yes, it’s an actual word!) may start off with running into each other in the laundry room. Perhaps you’ll ask your neighbor to borrow her flour for those chia seed muffins you’ve been dying to bake. Who knows—in a few days you could be having heart-to-heart convos over those muffins.
Maybe you’re getting a head start on looking for a place to live next term. Definitely check your university’s housing website or Facebook page for postings from students looking for roommates! You’ll meet new people, find a place to live, and hopefully pay less in rent since you’ll be sharing a place with someone else. If you already have a place, try posting an ad for a roommate search. Again—smaller rent payments and a new person in your life!
6. Make connections with friends of friends.
Your best friend takes you to lunch with one of her friends from Russian Lit. Turns out the Tolstoy fan is also crazy about your favorite class at the gym—cycling! If your bestie gets along with someone, there’s a chance that you will too!
7. Go places alone or with a small group of friends.
Not having a set friend group leaves you open to meeting anyone, anywhere. Detaching yourself from a clique makes you more approachable and leaves you with a greater opportunity to start a conversation with others.
“It sounds weird,” says Iris Goldsztajn, a senior at UCLA, “but sometimes I’ll roll out to a party without my entire girl-posse and meet lots of people that way!”
8. Be a good listener.
When you find yourself with a group of acquaintances, pay attention to how often you direct the conversation back to yourself. We know—life is stressful so we usually lean towards talking about our own latest challenges and hardships. But how often do you show interest in your acquaintances’ lives by asking questions? If one of your acquaintances talks about something important to her, will you remember it in the future? Paying attention to personal details someone discloses to you is a surefire way to make and keep friends!
9. Compliments, compliments, compliments.
We’re not saying you should be a kiss-up, since it can seem inauthentic. But compliments are a great way to not only brighten up someone’s day, but brighten up yours as well! When someone receives a compliment, she is likely to remember the person associated with it. It’s a great thing, because it makes you more approachable and known by lots of people!
10. Be your(awesome)self.
You might have had this mantra pummeled into your head as you grew up, but the words perpetually ring true. The best thing you can do to become friends with people you actually like is to take off the mask. Don’t try to please people so much that you cannot filter out who your good friends will be!
Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People makes us aware of this simple change we can introduce in our friend-making endeavors: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.” Show concern and care for others instead of constructing an elaborate public image of yourself.
11. Keep an open mind.
Be open to the possibility of meeting people in the places you’d least expect!