As any hopeful PNM would tell you (as cheesy as it may sound), joining a sorority is how you find the people who will one day be your sisters, best friends, and maybe even future bridesmaids. This sisterhood runs deep, through bonds within pledge classes, the nurturing relationship between bigs and littles, and a nationwide network of support and community that goes beyond collegiate life. But this isn’t the only type of sisterhood that can thrive within the Panhellenic system.
Sure, inter-sorority friendships — meaning, friendships between members of different sororities — can be harder to cultivate than those within a single sorority, given sororities are supposed to provide you with your “build-in best friends.” Time constraints and conflicting schedules aside, sororities are constantly pit against one another. Whether it’s fighting to snag the best PNMs during recruitment, chasing virality on social media, or putting on the best Bid Days, there are so many ways to see other sororities (and their members) as opponents.
But despite what the movies or viral RushTok videos might lead you to believe, Panhellenic unity is not impossible — in fact, it’s actually super common! If you want a glimpse at what real Panhel sisterhood looks like, four pairs of besties from different sororities shared their stories with Her Campus.
Tara & Hannah
Best friends Tara Hausner and Hannah Stetliano met on the first day of classes freshman year. “We obviously talked about being in the same [sorority],” Stetliano, a member of Alpha Sigma Tau, tells Her Campus. However, when it became clear that wasn’t going to happen, they weren’t deterred. “[When] we realized we were going to be in different sororities, it was kind of more exciting because we knew we were going to stay friends, but we would each like to make our own group of friends as well.”
Naturally, being in separate sororities forced them apart, at least a bit. Sororities at their school, Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, are placed in separate dorm wings, and living apart during their sophomore year created some distance. But Panhel ended up bringing them back together again: Today, the two serve on their campus’ Panhellenic council together. Hausner, a Delta Zeta, believes the time commitment of their Panhel positions actually brought the two even closer. “We spend more time together and more time working together.”
Karli & Melanie
After meeting as random roommates their sophomore year at Merrimack College, Karli Spreyer and Melanie Weed quickly became inseparable — even after Weed joined a sorority that wasn’t Spreyer’s.
“When I first signed up for recruitment, I didn’t even know Karli was in Zeta [Tau Alpha],” Weed says. Once she was rushing, she knew she had Spreyer’s support — but she didn’t feel pressured. “It definitely made me feel more comfortable going into recruitment, knowing someone. But it didn’t really affect my decisions [during recruitment] because I wanted to do something just for myself.”
In the end, Weed ended up in a different sorority, Theta Phi Alpha — and while it would have been fun to be in the same org, their friendship was already a sisterhood in itself. “At the end of the day, we’re still best friends,” says Spreyer. “So, it didn’t really matter. She went with her heart, and I was happy.”
Their separate sororities certainly keep them occupied. “Melanie and I held e-board positions at the same time,” says Spreyer. “We were super busy, the both of us.” And still, they found time for each other. “We like to do our late-night watching TV and we go to spin classes together too.,” Spreyer says. “We evenly balance it out so that we still have time to hang out with each other and not stress about sorority life.”
Keirsten & Ruth
At George Mason University, Kiersten Mullins and Ruth Haueise met through one of Mullins’s sorority sisters. With such a small, tight-knit Panhellenic community at GMU, chapters on campus are incredibly supportive of one another’s missions. This environment not only makes friendships between members in different sororities possible — it’s encouraged.
“When you see people in a Greek organization, you normally end up saying hi, because you know them,” Haueise says. “Especially since the Greek organizations here are smaller than like other schools, where everyone basically knows [one another]. If you see Greek letters, you just say hi.”
Even events that typically stoke competition among sororities are typically pretty friendly here. “I feel like most sororities like to show up to each other’s stuff, especially if it’s philanthropy,” says Haueise, a member of Kappa Delta.
Mullins, a member of Zeta Tau Alpha, shares an example of cross-sorority sisterhood: “[Last semester], Zeta and Kappa Delta did a Girl Scout event together. That one wasn’t a mandatory mixer; we just did that for fun. Kappa Delta asked if Zeta would want to partner with them for this, and we did the activity with them.”
Grace & Raegan
Grace Burns and Raegan Knicely go all the way back to freshman orientation at Duquesne. “We were just instantly like, ‘Oh my God, we’re the same person,’” Burns, a member of Alpha Omicron Pi, says. It was friendship at first sight. “We were together as much as we could [be].”
Neither Burns nor Knicely had initially planned to go through the recruitment process. “We kept asking each other, ‘Are you gonna do it?’” says Knicely, a member of Gamma Phi Beta. Burns adds, “We were like, ‘We should just try and see what happens. You never know.’”
After going through recruitment together, the two ultimately ended up joining separate chapters. “We thought we were going to do the whole thing together,” says Burns. “But then we ended up going our separate ways.” Knicely adds, “It was really disappointing, but I don’t feel it affected our friendship.”
The good news is, despite being in separate organizations, the two friends still find ways to remain close. “We love to go to Chili’s,” says Burns. “We go to dinner, we love to shop … we stay in touch. We talk literally every single day.”
Despite the competition that seems to run rampant within sorority life, Knicely and Burns — and the other bestie pairs featured here, and all around the Greek system — are proof that it’s possible for sisterhood between sororities to prevail. “Honestly, I want her organization to do great,” says Knicely. “[We’re] a group of girls, obviously you want the best for each other.”