It seems as though I’m floating,
Perhaps to a realm above my own.
I have never been there,
Or maybe I have in my youth.
No matter because it has been a while since I forgave myself.
Yesterday was tough
And so was the day before.
Tears never seem to stop flowing from me,
But they stop me from being me.
I miss the feelings of excitement.
What happened to my innocence,
My desires for a better life?
What happened to my dreams,
My passions,
My willingness to be alive?
I suppose they left,
Perhaps to another realm.
Here I was now, though:
Afraid,
Anxious,
Alone
Again.
I so desperately needed something or someone to help me.
It turns out that I was my own answer all along.
I had to admit that maybe I was my own problem.
And I had to accept that maybe I was my own solution.
“Place a hand over your heart and, Aditi, please forgive yourself for being human.”
Do I deserve it, though?
Do I deserve happiness?
I guess so.
If not for me,
Maybe for those around me right now.
I’ll get to myself in a bit.
And so,
I guess I need to forgive myself.
Forgive myself for my mistakes,
For being so hard on myself for so long.
Maybe things will be alright this time.
Cheers babe, here’s to us.