Ever since 2020, I’ve been practicing something that felt foreign to me at first: self-love. From a young age, life has been hard for me because I took things too seriously and lacked emotional intelligence. Seeing confident people who had many friends and did well in school made me hate myself because I was the complete opposite. I was shy, only had a handful of friends, and was constantly misunderstood. All of that was due to how much I hated myself. It wasn’t easy accepting that to myself, but it was the first step in the right direction.
Since then, I have developed some adaptive coping mechanisms to stress, anxiety, and even depressive relapses. These practices may seem silly, but they brighten up my days. For example, starting the day with yoga and gratitude journaling creates days filled with high moods and low levels of negative self-talk. Besides that, I also give myself breaks in-between homework and classes both on lazy and busy days, keep an optimistic mindset, and allow myself to be me.
Having full spa days
On selected days or whenever I feel like it, I do skincare (facial scrubs and masks), apply perfume, wear one of my favorite outfits, do my nails and eyebrows, and maybe even do some light makeup. On those days, I pamper myself the most— treating myself like the queen I am. It’s probably the best way to show up for yourself, in my opinion. It makes it easier for confidence to grow and high spirits to flow. Taking time to take good care of myself always puts me in a good mood and encourages a bright smile to manifest on my face.
Listening to my mind, body, and soul
In the past, I have struggled with inner battles between rationale versus emotions, societal standards versus my standards, etc. Due to that, I have tried many diets, tried to fit into many groups that weren’t meant for me, and concealed my feelings. But now, I’m unapologetically me. I eat intuitively and rarely weigh myself because I know that a number on a scale doesn’t define me or my worthiness. I prioritize my energy and my mental health first every single day.
I do yoga and write in a gratitude journal every morning, I listen to meditations that cleanse and protect my energy, and if I feel like being alone, I do that, too. And the best part is that it doesn’t feel lonely anymore because I’m healing the most important relationship: the one I have with myself. Honestly, I have to admit that being in touch with your body, emotions, and energy is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Implementing better boundaries
Throughout my life, I haven’t been good at implementing boundaries. Be it that I was scared of getting hurt or didn’t know how to stand up for myself, I couldn’t effectively express my feelings. That resulted in many toxic friendships, deception, and people constantly walking all over me. After many years, I realized that I had some part in those situations as I wasn’t being clear about what I wanted or didn’t want. I found out that I could speak my truth without hurting others or myself and that saying “no” can be more responsible than saying “yes” due to peer pressure. Now, I speak my mind with clarity and compassion and don’t belittle myself for the likes of others anymore. I deserve to be loved and respected as I do for others.
Self-affirming instead of self-doubting
One thing that revolutionized my life was trading my self-doubts for self-affirmations. If you choose to only focus on the negative, that’s what you end up manifesting in your life without even realizing it. So, why not self-affirm instead? As an optimist, I’ve always tended to see the bright side of things and the best side of others. However, I couldn’t do the same when it came to myself. The thing is that when I learned to self-affirm, bad days became more bearable due to coping mechanisms. Now, I constantly pride myself on my hard work and realize that things can always be worse. So, life feels way lighter now.
Being myself
I decided to free myself from my mental prison and allow myself to be my optimistic, overly empathetic, and smiley self. I don’t beat myself up when I say things as they are because I don’t like beating around the bush or playing with other people’s feelings. I accept my qualities and flaws and love them all. I have unconditional love for myself, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. As Glennon Doyle says, “You are a goddamn cheetah.” To which I add, “yes, I’m a freaking cheetah, and nobody will tame me.”