This past quarter I learned about something called toxic productivity. While I typically find these uber-general psychological buzz terms (ironically) unproductive, this is shockingly pertinent. If you haven’t heard of toxic productivity, HuffPost defines it as an “essentially an unhealthy desire to be productive at all times, at all costs” and “the need to go the ‘extra mile’ at work or at home, even when it’s not expected of you.”
As a university student, the pressure to perform is immense. As someone who cannot function on less than six hours of sleep, I often feel ashamed or inadequate when I hear my friends discussing their all-night study sessions. So how did I make up for it last quarter? By forcing myself to study for hours every day and, in turn, compromising the time I would’ve spent on essential wellness practices (exercise, eating healthy, doing relaxing personal hobbies and projects, etc.). Because, in our society, success is synonymous with tireless exertion, when under pressure for time or energy, self-care is often the first thing to be sacrificed.
That said, despite my “toxic productivity” this winter quarter, I feel more unsatisfied than ever. Grades, internships, work and all those other things considered “productive” are not substitutes for mental wellness. They are supplements.
As I sat in my therapist’s office in my UCLA hoodie with severely-bitten nails and tears inadvertently welling in my eyes, I told her I didn’t think I could finish this quarter. After listening to me vent and, accordingly, comforting me, she introduced me to the wellness wheel. The wheel consists of eight dimensions: emotional, environmental, financial, intellectual, occupational, physical, social and spiritual. The basic idea is that you are the wheel, and each part of your wheel needs to be equally balanced to maintain momentum.
It sounds kinda cliché, but it was tangible and logical enough for my exhausted, emotional mind to comprehend at that moment. So, after painfully reflecting on the status of each spoke in my wheel, I realized just how lacking I was in those relating to my mental well-being. I also noticed just how much each dimension is related. For instance, it is tough for me to feel emotionally robust if I am not active or social.
So, now that I survived my winter quarter, I’m working on evening out my wheel this Spring Break. I’m prioritizing self-care by practicing activities I enjoy, exercising, attending to my physical hygiene and appearance, and allowing myself to relax. Prioritizing balance promotes palliative productivity.