During the endless Zoom meetings, online school drudgery, bad news updates, and general misery that defined the last school year, I felt pretty terrible and burnt out. To get through it, I reminded myself every day that that state of affairs was temporary, in only a few more months I would be through with it, and that I had an amazing in-person school year beckoning for the next year. I’m in that amazing, in-person school year right now, and I’ll be honest: I’m still so, so tired.
I thought that after Zoom school was over, I would be right back to being as active as I was during my freshman year of college before the pandemic hit, but that’s not going to be the case just yet. It’s taken a few months for me to be able to accept that, but it’s okay if I can’t get as involved, take as many classes, go out as many nights as I used to when I was eighteen years old and thought face masks were only for skincare. But by being gentle with myself now and gradually easing myself back into my old routine, I think one day I can. I’ll still be a changed person after the pandemic, but I’ll be a little more like the one I was before. I already feel so much better in October than I did in September, even if it’s not the same way I felt in September and October of 2019.
Life has gotten infinitely better in the past few months, but it might take a few more before I do. And that’s okay. Whether we’ve admitted it or not, last year was traumatizing for all of us. It was incredibly abnormal for us to be so separated from our friends, denied social interactions, listen to a never-ending spiel of bad news, and adjust to an online learning format when all that many of us have ever known is the physical classroom. Recovering from something like that isn’t immediate, and everyone will do so on their own schedule. If you’re not back to feeling the way you did before the pandemic, that’s okay. It’s normal. Many of us still aren’t, but we are getting there, and that is what matters.