It’s three months into 2019, and the wave of self care is in full force. After a week full of work or classes, and finishing assignments, there is nothing better than applying a face mask and finally catching up on Grey’s Anatomy. One day, I started to ask myself when self-care began to be defined as doing face-masks, using bath bombs, retail therapy or other materialistic alternatives.
I strongly believe that the concept of self-care has been so heavily commercialized that people think it is simply a trend (yes, that includes a snapchat of you dropping a bath bomb in water and using the hashtag #selfcare).
People are using face-masks and new clothes as a temporary solution and losing track of what self-care really is. Personally, I do not gain satisfaction or relief from doing a face-mask, that does not mean that I am opposed to it (I love a face mask for a good skin care routine), but I would like to look at the idea of self-care as an emotional journey as well.
Naturally, I am a very emotional and sensitive person, so based on my personal experience, the moments in which I’ve felt the most relief are times that I feel in control of my feelings.
One of my acts of self-care that was the most beneficial for me, was when I ended a friendship with my best friend of 4 years. I found myself having conflicts with this particular person on a daily basis, knowing very well how a healthy friendship should look like. I finally realized that this person was more damaging to my emotional state than helpful; by creating unnecessary drama, prioritizing their personal agenda, their simple lack of basic respect and compassion brought me to my limit. But as soon as I spoke my truth and took control of the situation, I felt as if a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
Therefore, for me, self-care takes the form of surrounding myself with people that contribute to my well-being. For others, self-care may be finally leaving that job that makes them unhappy and self-care may really also be doing face-masks. But, at the end of the day, there is no right or wrong way to spend your time for self-care, just realize that there may be something that can provide a long term solution if you just acknowledge your feelings.