By: Shayna Nicolay
The word therapy has a bit of an extreme and negative connotation linked to it. Most people still think that if you go to therapy there must be something terribly wrong with you.
This is one of the biggest lies that society has come up with. Therapy means that you have come to a place in your life where you have decided to try and better yourself. That doesn’t mean you have something necessarily wrong with you, it means you care about your well-being and want to work on yourself.
It took me a little bit to realize this. It’s a big step to call in and book an appointment; in fact it took me months of saying I was going to start counselling before actually making an appointment. After, I only told my best friend I was going.
I felt like I couldn’t tell my parents I was attending therapy because they would be worried and freak out about what made me have to go to a session. I also wouldn’t say I was going to counselling around my peers. If I had to leave them to go to the session I would simply say that I had an appointment and not give them any other information.
After having a couple conversations with my friends about why I was actually in counselling, I started realizing that it wasn’t that big of a deal and that I shouldn’t be ashamed for trying to live my best life.
I started seeing a counsellor for my insomnia which was making my anxiety uncontrollable. It was hard for me to even be a functioning human, let alone go to class and maintain good grades and a social life. I was connected with a counsellor on a same day appointment and was put on the list for full time counselling. I stayed with that counsellor for the rest of the school year and met with her every two weeks. I felt like I had connected with her, but with that said, my sleeping still didn’t improve.
I went home for the summer and when I came back I started thinking about going to counselling again. In the middle of September, I got a phone call from the Ryerson Centre for Student Development and Counselling office, saying that a spot opened up. Now I meet with a new therapist every week. We focus on my insomnia but there is always time available for anything else I want to talk about. Counselling isn’t just about mental health. Many of my sessions have focused on my relationships, stresses, school, work, and family. It has helped me understand myself in a way where I can realize in the moment why I feel the way I do. It can also help you understand the people in your life better. Sometimes you have to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand how they are feeling.
Talking to a counsellor about your relationships can help grow your friendships and give you an outsider’s look on your fights, worries, annoyances, and basically anything that you feel you need an opinion on but don’t want to talk to your other friends about.
I feel like most of us are constantly thinking about if we are truly “good enough.” We’re the generation of overthinking and either worrying too much or not enough. I’m guilty of overthinking often, for example about how my actions will influence others.
When we move to university, we uproot our entire life. It’s a new beginning but it can also stir up a lot of anxiety. For some of us coming from smaller towns, other provinces, or even other countries, moving to a downtown Toronto campus can be extremely daunting. It’s a struggle for community all over again.
Sometimes it’s a struggle of moving from somewhere where everyone knows you and what you do, to a city where what you used to be known for suddenly isn’t that unique anymore. It’s a struggle of always comparing yourself to others and thinking that you’re not doing enough. Your 20s can take you anywhere. Everyone is on a completely different path as they age, so there’s no need to compare yourself to others. Attending therapy will help show you this and strengthen your confidence over time. Perhaps 2020 can be the year where you finally try therapy.