When I was in a creative writing class, or I guess if we’re being more accurate- a creative writing zoom call the other day, my tutor said something really interesting. She asked if any of us students were feeling in a bit of a creative slump at the moment— like we really feel like the collective catastrophe happening worldwide should be sparking creative ideas in us, but all we’re actually left with is blank pages and no motivation. And then she said that she’d been reading something that explained there is actually some scientific-y reason why your brain might be finding it more difficult right now to tap into your imagination. I won’t get too much into it because I’ll probably get it wrong, but it was something to do with how we function under stress. Your brain might be having to work harder to process things right now because of the high levels of stress and anxiety, and the influx of daily information from the news. Your brain is prioritizing this rather then your essay that was due yesterday, or the next chapter of your novel. This isn’t me trying to give you an excuse to slack off and not study for your finals, but I’m more just thinking about personal experience, and how it really has been more difficult in this period to think of creative ideas.
I guess that is partly because we are lacking the stimulus or ordinary life, the tactility and sensory nature of actually being out in the world and experiencing what we normally would. In simpler terms: lack of things happening = less things that inspire you. But maybe it is just because we are receiving so much daily about something so all consuming, it is hard to pull it out on your mind for a little, put it down, and think of something else. It doesn’t help that there’s a huge amount of pressure right now to be using your social distancing time wisely, and not wasting it— lots of peppy Instagram influencers peppering your feed with inspirational quotes about how we should value this time to reset, or start that passion project you’ve always wanted to, or do a hundred crunches a day and come out of lock down ‘glowed up’ with a summer body.
And sure, all these things sound great. Really great, in fact my mind is kind of zig zagging trying to think of which one to focus on. And there comes that issue again, it becomes very difficult to fully focus on any one of them, because, as I said, it’s just pretty difficult to concentrate in general right now. And that is okay. I think maybe the people that are saying all this are trying to be encouraging, they definitely don’t mean harm. It is a great idea to use this time well because nobody likes to feel like they are wasting time, especially in this kind of circumstance. But I think it is equally valuable to remember that we are going through something that’s really unprecedented to us, and just generally pretty f*cking insane. So even though there is a load of pressure to use right now to sort your life out because you *finally have all this free time you’ve secretly always asked for* it’s really a be careful what you wish for situation. Many people, students included, are facing the loss of their jobs and income, or being in difficult home situations that make work harder than if you could study at the library like normal, and so maybe now doesn’t feel like the time where you can pull everything together; really it might feel the opposite. And that is fine. In my opinion, the only real responsibility you have right now is to look after yourself, and carry on the best you can with the circumstances you are under. And those circumstances look different for everyone. You might have watched that Disney-sing-along the other day where the High School Musical cast reunited for a rendition of ‘All in this together,’ and whilst I loved seeing Zac Efron back on my screen too, and as much as we are all facing this same thing, everyone has their own unique way of dealing with it, which is your choice, and your prerogative.
Like I said, that’s not me saying to put down the books and start missing your lectures. If anything, it’s important to try and keep a sense of normality of what you might have been doing otherwise, right now. But don’t feel like you have to come out of this lockdown the modern equivalent of Shakespeare with a 3-act script ready to send off to Hollywood, or with the solution to global gas emissions. You don’t need to produce something incredible to have used this time wisely, there is no pass to test (apart from finals) here in whether you handled ‘T h e 2 0 2 0 p a n d e m i c’ as well as your best friend or your neighbor or your cat.
If you feel like you do have some itching desire to get started on that thing you’ve always been meaning to, go ahead and do it, I’m sure there will be all kinds of incredible art coming out of this situation. And it is great to have that kind of mindset, the hopefulness and optimism that can come with working on something your passionate about is important. But it isn’t an obligation, and I don’t think anyone is going to blame you if all you do right now is live as happy as you can with the certain restrictions. Please don’t worry too much about becoming the next Mozart in the next month. Look after your physical health and your mental health and those around you. Keep safe, and keep smiling, and don’t feel like you have to be a brand new you after this, because I’m sure you were doing just great beforehand anyway.