my personal experience: Mini rant sesh
I know life get rough. I personally feel that roughness often. I feel like it may be important to describe my credentials when it comes to this topic. I am a fashion merchandising major in their fourth year out of five years in college. I’m a transfer who has had four different majors over the course of these four years and now is having to drop out of university (more like take a semester break because I’m hoping to come back in the fall). I really didn’t want to become a college dropout, but I guess life has different plans.
Not only will I have to relocate and get my first ever off-campus apartment, I’ll have to find a new job, hopefully figuring that out sooner rather than later, because I’ll be losing my two on campus jobs. I’ll no longer be a student, but rather a member of the full-time working class, and I won’t be able to be a part of all my organizations including Her Campus.
The good news is is that I have an apartment lease signed and a new job possibly in the works. I wanted to write from a place of truly understanding that life does really try to screw you over sometimes, but you often have no choice but to persevere.
try to manage where you can
One of my main pieces of advice is to try and gain control where you can. I love my planners and having a planner and to-do lists for everyday makes me feel like I have some form of control. I suggest that even if you’re not into planners, find some aspect of your life that is voluntary to do that can give you a feeling of control. Get into hobbies, take some online courses or classes in your free time, make new friends and arrange for little coffee dates, go and do something that you choose to do.
Reach out where you can
Another piece of advice I have for you is to lean on your support systems and those around you who love you. Don’t feel as though you have to do all of this alone. If you have friends or family, lean on them, or if you feel as though you need professional support, look into therapy or counseling.
If you’re in school, look and see if your university offers counseling or therapy for students. I know my school has free counseling/counseling included already in your tuition and I love(d) taking advantage of that and will continue to when I eventually come back.
It’s really important that you don’t let yourself hide away in your struggle-bubble. Life gets hard, but life is happening to all those around you as well. They understand how you feel, even if they may not be experiencing the same thing as you. Everyone understands how life can get sometimes, and it’s important to rely on those around you when you’re going through a tough time.
making the best of things: your mindset matters
My best piece of advice for you is to try your best to make light of things. I know life truly gets tough and it’s hard to see the silver lining, but mindset really is such a big game changer.
For me personally, I like to believe that everything is happening for a reason, that the universe as a whole is looking out for me, and even though my path may not be the most stereotypical, it’ll be perfect for me specifically, which is all that really matters. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, especially when it’s so hard to see the silver lining and everything feels so dark, but trying to come about it from a different angle can truly do so much for you.
I like to think of the challenges thrown at me as opportunities from growth. The universe has specific life lessons picked out for me that I need to learn and these life experiences are how I am expected to learn these lessons.
For me, although it may be hard, I’m trying to see me having to take a break from school as an opportunity to get hands on, full-time experience in the real world, something I wouldn’t be able to do when balancing school as well.
The job I have possibly lined up isn’t related to the field I’m studying, but for all I know, it’ll be a field that I love that may spark a side hustle in the future or, who knows, maybe change the trajectory of my whole life.
I’ll be signing my first lease for my first off-campus apartment, and these are things that I should learn while I have the support system that I do, rather than being thrown into the thick of it right after graduation. Maybe this is the universe deciding I finally deserve to be able to light candles in my bedroom, and it knows that I’d never be able to do that when living in a dorm.
All I know is that your mindset really does matter. I’m not trying to say that the way you feel is all your fault or that you just need to change your mindset and all your problems will be fixed.
I’m merely trying to say that going through these challenges feels so much lighter and, honestly, even a little bit easier if I come from the mindset that this is what’s best for me right now and that I’m put in this position to learn something. I’m not suffering helplessly for no reason, there is reason to all this madness.
final notes
I know this advice may have not been what you were expecting, but it’s truly what has helped me during this time of hardship. Knowing I have people to turn to, that I’m using my resources to help me where they can and that I’m coming at these experiences from as positive of a mindset as I can really helped me ease the anxiety of “well what if I’m not doing enough?” or “what if it’s my fault?”
Know that you’re not alone in your struggles, even if the people around you aren’t going through the same thing. At the very least, know that I’m out here struggling through life similar to how you are, and that we can find solace in knowing that we aren’t alone.