Lately practicing self-care has felt like a chore. I’m the kind of person that wants to optimize everything; the question on my mind has been am I doing the right self-care? It doesn’t matter what type of activity I’m doing as self-care I now question if I should be doing something different. Would I feel better taking a bath, painting, etc. than I do right now? The panic of indecision leads me to spend night after night in front of the TV.
When I do pick something to do as self-care, it feels more like an item to check off of my to-do list than a way to nurture myself. I can’t be in the moment because I am thinking about the next part of my “routine.” It’s exhausting. Sometimes I think I don’t have enough time for self-care, but then I spend 2 hours scrolling on my phone. What’s worse is that I’m definitely not alone in this feeling.
One of the sources for this phenomenon is the creeping commercialization of self-care. Companies are shifting products from self-improvement to self-care which blurs the way we separate activities. Another side effect of this is that there are now “better” ways to practice self-care. Celebrities discuss their self-care routines constantly, which causes us to compare ourselves to the unattainable. Even well-meaning comments from friends, like “have you tried meditation?” add to the stress of self-care. I know I should do all the things that make me feel better, but there are only 24 hours in a day.
At this point, I have started to remind myself that self-care is personal. It doesn’t matter what I choose as long as I am in the moment. Unfortunately, there is no single answer, no “best” way to practice self-care. I’m not here to tell you what the solution is; I can only remind you (and myself) that we are doing enough!