“Go to the gym every day, get a job, go to club meetings, join a sorority, make sure to hang out with all of your friends, get a boyfriend and somehow at the same time maintain a high GPA.” For most women in college, or at least for me, this can feel like the expectation. We go to college to get our degree, and obviously it is much more than that. It is an experience. I love college so far and I love my school. I just cannot help but feel like no matter what I do, it is not enough.
I see people posting “Day In My Life” videos: they start their day off by waking up before the sun rises, going to the gym, attending multiple classes, studying, going to club meetings, spending time with friends and somehow still have energy to go out that night. Watching these types of videos can make it seem like being constantly busy is just a normal part of being a college student. There are so many ways to get involved on your campus in college. You can join a sorority, participate in clubs, play intramural sports, go to campus events or get a job. I have tried to balance many of these things at once on top of schoolwork, friendships and everything else that comes with being a college student. Sometimes I find myself wondering if I am actually enjoying each and every one of these experiences, or just trying to make sure I do not miss out on anything.
The Pressure of Not Doing Everything
There is always something happening on campus. Another club meeting, another event, another invitation to dinner, another workout class at the UMass Recreation Center, or any other opportunity that sounds too good to pass up. I will have a long day of classes and finishing assignments and I already know I need to go back to my dorm and have a break. I do not want to miss a fun night with my girls or an event that everyone is going to. At the same time, I know that constantly pushing myself to be everywhere and do everything will eventually catch up to me. It is easy to look around and feel like everyone else is doing more than you. Someone is the president of three different clubs, one person has a great job, and the other person goes to the gym every morning. We rarely see what is happening behind the scenes. We don’t see when those same people are exhausted, going through family troubles, or just simply having a bad day.
Prioritizing Yourself Over Productivity
Being busy is not always a bad thing. I genuinely enjoy being involved and meeting new people. The problem is when being busy becomes something we use to measure our worth. Resting can make us feel unproductive. Instead of enjoying a quiet night in, we might feel guilty that we are not studying. But taking time for yourself is not wasting time. Your health and well-being should not have to come after everything else on your schedule. It is okay to turn down plans because you are tired. It is okay to spend an evening doing nothing productive or even nothing at all. I am still learning this myself. I want to take advantage of everything college has to offer, but I am realizing that I cannot enjoy anything if I’m constantly exhausted from trying to do it all.
Finding Your Own Balance
There is no perfect formula for having the best college experience. Your balance might look completely different from your roommate’s, your friends’, or influencers on TikTok. Maybe your version of college means joining a couple of clubs and going to every event you can make it to. Maybe it means having a part-time job and spending most of your free time with a small circle of friends. Maybe you love starting your morning off in the gym, or maybe you’d rather sleep in. None of these choices are better than the others, none of these choices make your college experience more or less meaningful.
I am learning not to say yes to everything just because I have the opportunity to. I can choose the things that genuinely make me happy and let the rest go. College is a time to experience lots of new things, but it’s also a time to figure out what works for you. You don’t have to do everything to make the most of college. For me, making the most of it means a balance of fun and allowing myself to have a moment to breathe.
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