I don’t know if I’m the only one who used to do this when I was younger; I was not comparing myself to the perfection celebrities show on social media, because I knew it was all part of the show, but comparing myself to the girls at my school. It is not like I was jealous of them, but at some point of my life, seeing too much “perfection” between the girls at my school made me feel like I was behind in life, or that I should do more because if not, I will be ruining my future before it even starts. If you are a young girl reading this, let me tell you that those girls and even yourself, only post the “perfect” side of life, because almost nobody posts their failures and their mistakes. I dedicate this article to all the young girls who need an older sister’s advice on how to embrace your imperfect side while striving to improve and make your dreams come true.
- Everyone had their own “Lacy”
If you like Olivia Rodrigo songs like I do, you will get this reference. A “Lacy” is a specific girl that makes us feel insecure because, according to our mind, she is everything we want to be. In high school I had my own “Lacy.” And it was weird because I didn’t dislike her but hearing amazing things about her or seeing her social media made me feel insecure about myself, and it made me think that if I was like her, I would be more “accepted.” I used to think all of these things without knowing if she also had insecurities or internal battles, which for obvious reasons she would never let others know. If you feel that way, try to ask yourself if you actually know your Lacy, or if you only know the incredible things she allows others to see. Then ask yourself if you want to be like your Lacy because you genuinely like the things she does, or because you think she is the version of you that looks more “acceptable” in others’ eyes. Once you make that self-reflection, you are ready for the next step: to focus on yourself.
- Focus on yourself
Focusing on yourself can be hard when you have others’ expectations on top of you, and I think the best way to handle it, is by asking yourself if the things you are currently doing with your life would have either positive or negative consequences for your future and if they actually make you happy. I remember in my senior year, I was the girl who lived in the clouds because I wanted to move to New York City for college, which in my high school was considered something out of the expectations. Despite that I did what I would advise you to do: I kept it to myself and started making it a reality with concrete actions; all while having a backup plan, but also without stopping dreaming. Along the way, I made mistakes such as only really getting serious about my SATs, extracurriculars, and volunteer work right at the end of my junior year, and as a consequence my resume at the application process wasn’t all that impressive. Despite the mistakes, you should never stop focusing on fixing them to be a better version of yourself. Not to be like your “Lacy” but to be a version of you that is aware of imperfection but also takes action to make herself better and her dreams a reality.
- Be a dreamer but also keep your feet on the ground
That is the quote I always repeat to myself every time I have a dream that can be hard to achieve, and let me tell you, there are no impossible dreams, there are only people who work harder and that are never perfect. At first, you want all your journey to achieve your dream to be perfect, but that is not realistic, there are going to be a lot of moments where you will question yourself if what you are doing is worth it. Just because there are settle backs on the way doesn’t mean that your dreams are wrong, they just mean that sometimes you need to work harder for them. I think being imperfect when trying to achieve a dream is what makes it more human.
I feel that being imperfect is a beautiful thing, because how boring would it be to belong to a group of girls who are all alike and do exactly the same things, just to receive acceptance from others leaving on a side our true personalities and our own dreams. Imperfection doesn’t mean being “wrong”; it means being human, since we are made up of a little bit of everything. For my young girls reading this: be imperfect, be yourself and don’t be afraid of messing it up, because I promise you that it is not the end of the world. You are worth so much more than your mistakes.