In college, many obstacles make it hard to build a routine that balances studying for tests, getting involved in campus orgs, and meeting assignment deadlines. Getting your education doesn’t have to stop you from pursuing that campus crush, but in fact could be motivation to do even better in class to get more time to spend with your potential new boo.
Managing time & priorities
Balancing your workflow as you work toward your dream career should be your main focus before jumping into a relationship, as both require equal attention to keep alive. Setting clear boundaries with potential partners should be the first step in getting to know someone new, so they understand what they are getting into. Sharing syllabi helps you keep up with each other’s schedules and plan a date night where you can focus on spending time together without the stress of a project due that same night. Those small pockets of time in between can become mini dates, like coffee or library dates, that still motivate you and your partner to get the work done while enjoying quiet moments together. Maintaining your study time and class time should be treated as non-negotiable commitments to prevent any misunderstandings when you become less available to go out to that new restaurant you’ve both been dying to try out.
Communicate and listen
Communication is key to keeping the spark alive by being open about the expectations that come with being a student who also wants to pursue a relationship. Maintaining the balance between dating and focusing on your career will remain a back-and-forth decision, since you only have so much time in a day. If you are with the right partner, they should understand your limited time and availability when your studies come first. Keep communicating your feelings; if one partner feels neglected in terms of attention or feels like they come second to your work, you need to discuss it and explain why keeping your studies as the main priority is a struggle. Reassurance is always needed in a relationship to build trust that these feelings are valid, and you can comfort each other, work on the issues, and continue building the partnership.
Avoid rushing
Having a relationship in college isn’t something to stress over or rush into; your academic goals and personal growth should be the main focus. The excitement of romance can easily pull you off track and consume all your time; a slow, steady pace helps you build a solid foundation that can grow into genuine companionship, not infatuation. Taking your time with each other can also mean holding back on the major steps in furthering the relationship, like moving in together, sharing a pet, combining finances, and integrating friend groups. Navigating obstacles, disagreements, and normal stress is something any couple goes through. Still, as the relationship grows, you learn more about whether this is the person for you and whether it can sustain the hardships that come along.
Keep doing the things you love to do
When a new relationship arises, it is crucial to love yourself first and make sure not to lose your identity, creative outlets, career goals, and routine, as fuel for your mental well-being and to ensure you are taking care of yourself first. Preventing relationship burnout centers on making time for yourself and enjoying being alone. Set aside time with your family and friends, so you’re not spending all your time with your partner; it’s okay to spend time apart. A relationship is about both of you committing to your own growth and passions, contributing to building dreams together, giving each other new experiences and perspectives, and being happy for one another.
Finding the balance of pursuing a love life while in college can be successful and ultimately comes down to putting yourself first so you can come together and grow into the partners you want to be for each other. This chapter of life is a great experience to enjoy and focus on your goals; starting a relationship should be about experiencing college life together rather than being consumed by it. Share those happy moments and support one another to be the best you can be by finding someone who gives you that security to thrive independently while flourishing together.