Is patience a virtue or a scam?
Patience is defined as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delays, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset,” but what does it mean? We hear the saying “Patience is a virtue” and are reminded of its importance every day. At the same time, we are also told in professional settings to seize opportunities and to never let one pass us by. So when should we be patient, and when should we act?
The Fear of Falling Behind
I’ve always struggled to view myself as a “patient” person. I find myself stressing over the smallest things and getting emotional quite often. But one of the hardest things for me to accept was being patient in a professional setting. Struggling with the fear of falling behind has left me stressed about what my future might hold. Although with this, I must admit that I see that I’m not the only one.
Hustle Culture and the Myth of Perfect Timing
The concept of patience in a professional setting, such as a job opportunity or development opportunity, is unheard of. Hustle culture has encouraged us to develop a one-track mindset. The steps for the “perfect” career can seem predefined: go to college, attend as many job fairs as possible, build the perfect resume, create the perfect LinkedIn profile, and land the perfect first internship. There is little “waiting” in the professional world. Patience seems to be something we are only taught to practice in our emotional lives. Reserved only for our emotions, we are told to simply be patient. When we feel hurt, disrespected, or disappointed, we are encouraged to wait until we magically feel better with time. I have learned through my own experiences that, despite the black-and-white picture that social media likes to paint, there are no rigid rules for patience. I have the right to feel upset, angry, and disappointed. I don’t have to tolerate others’ disrespect simply because “patience is a virtue,” and I don’t need to control my emotions to prove my patience.
Redefining Patience as Professional Growth
Instead, I try to view patience in a different light, where I’m not “failing.” Patience can be a balanced tool for growth rather than a rigid set of rules we are expected to follow at all times. In a professional career, we may not get every opportunity we want, and we may not want every opportunity we are offered. True professional patience can mean knowing when to act and knowing when to wait. Although I don’t have all the experience in the world, I am trying to be easier on myself. I can assess all my options before jumping into a new job, and I can choose to further develop my skills as I wait for a better opportunity to come my way (waiting doesn’t always mean falling behind).
Making Room for Emotions and Mistakes
The most difficult lesson was not being so hard on myself. There is also no need to “hold back” from expressing my emotions to appear patient. I can be both patient and disappointed. I can be patient and angry. I have repeatedly been disappointed in an exam grade but have had the patience to approach the new lesson with a new mindset, being patient with myself and giving myself time to learn (which doesn’t come without error).
Patience on My Own Terms
I find that with practice, you can acknowledge your emotions without allowing them to make every decision for you. Emotions have no set linear schedule and do not require pretending to be fine. Real patience is knowing yourself well enough to understand what choices you should make in that moment. It’s having the power to tolerate setbacks without letting them define you or your future, and not being afraid of waiting for something better.
I now view myself as a patient person, even if I don’t check all the boxes that I see online.