Now that September is here, the hit show Dancing with the Stars is officially back in session. I fell in love with the show way back in the day but stopped watching for probably ten years. However, I fell right back in love with it when my favorite Olympic gymnast, Stephen Nedoroscik, was cast. Since then, I have tuned in every single Tuesday to act like I know everything and anything about the art of ballroom dancing.
This season brought an absolutely stacked cast, which makes for a very hard ranking for me. We have well-known actors, reality TV stars, and even an Olympic and a Paralympic athlete.
Tuesday and Wednesday served as the premiere nights for the season. The male celebrities performed on Tuesday and the female celebrities performed on Wednesday, with everyone dancing to a song from the year they were born. I did not particularly love it this way because both a male and a female star went home right away, which does not allow the audience to see any potential week-to-week improvement.
Here are my honest rankings after their Week One performances, along with the top teams that I will be texting 21523 for every single week.
1. Amber Glenn and Pasha Pashkov
Amber’s figure skating background clearly calls for good musicality. She was completely eye-catching on the floor; the choreography was amazing, and that solo moment for a Week One dance was insane. She absolutely killed it, and I cannot wait to see more of her.
2. Harry Shum Jr. and Jenna Johnson
Ummm, I did not really know who he was before the show, but lord, can he dance. I did think he was almost too sharp with his movements at times, but it was so good. The ending moment was literally giving me heart palpitations.
3. Maura Higgins and Mark Ballas
This was so surprising. Based on seeing her on The Traitors, I did not think she was very athletic, but she completely showed up. Mark is amazing with choreography, and he really showcased that by building her up from the bottom.
4. Jenna Dewan and Val Chmerkovskiy
Okay, first off, the song choice is elite. Second, she really did some impressive tricks right from the get-go. The dance was high-energy and just genuinely good. She drew me in immediately. I definitely believe she will go far.
5. Julia Stiles and Ezra Sosa
These are my winners. I love Julia Stiles so, so much, and dancing to a cute Dolly Parton song was the best. She was a tad bit off at times, and the Quickstep did not seem all that quick, but again, it is only Week One. I am so excited she is on this season, though I am already dreading what could happen on Dedication Night.
6. Connor Wood and Rylee Arnold
Okay, “luckily I have purse” is literally all I know him from, so I was not expecting much. Now, he is my underdog this season. The chemistry was so good, and honestly, the videos being posted from their first rehearsal to now show how much he has truly improved.
7. Ezra Frech and Daniella Karagach
He is such an inspiration as a Paralympic athlete. I understand it can be more challenging for him, considering his leg could literally fly off, but Daniella did an amazing job with what she has to work with. He was mesmerizing to watch.
8. Taylor Hanson and Britt Stewart
I do not know why the judges always give Britt the older people, and I am still a little salty that she did not get Harry. That being said, Taylor really showed up for this dance.
9. Tyler Cameron and Sharna Burgess
Okay, he heavily reminds me of Danny Amendola. He does a lot of tricks for the girl, but I do not feel like he did a whole lot of dancing himself. I really liked watching the dance, but he is ranked lower because I feel like he just did not do that much.
10. Jackson Olson and Emma Slater
I honestly expected more from him, and I was kind of bored. Being on the Savannah Bananas, I feel like he should have had an entertainment advantage of some sort, so I was kinda let down. Other recaps noted that the performance lacked the explosive fun we expected, so I feel like the critiques of him were fair, and the attitudes from them during the show kinda threw me off.
11. Sarah Jane Nader and Hailey Bills
The inclusivity here is so awesome. I am a little hurt that we could not see more of her, especially since other fans were so excited about the historic same-sex pairing. Honestly, the Jive is so difficult to keep up with, and for the most part, I think she was pretty in sync with Hailey. For this being Hailey’s first time as a pro, I thought it was good.
12. Ciara Miller and Brandon
This routine was just a bit bland to me. I honestly do not have much to say about it. Even though she clearly had an emotional backstory going into the night, the Foxtrot itself left them sitting right near the bottom of the leaderboard.
13. Giada De Laurentiis’ and Alan Bersten
Again, this was kind of bland. I feel like she was just kinda moving around the floor, not really dancing. The critics agreed she looked overly cautious, and despite some tears backstage, the routine just didn’t translate into real choreography.
14. Tatyana Ali and Jan Ravnik
The mess-ups at the beginning and the laughing made me feel like they got out of it for the rest of the dance. The judges completely called out the rough start and flat-footed timing. I get that nerves and things impact the performance, but she also had like three weeks to practice and learn this, which is why hitting the absolute bottom of the leaderboard with a 12 felt completely justified.
15. Guillermo Rodriguez and Witney Carson
This man literally rolled around on the ground and somehow did not get eliminated! I loved his energy and his shout-out to women, especially to Witney, who is carrying a literal child right now. Even though he got the absolute lowest score of night one (a 10), I feel like she showcased him well, and I just love his energy.
16. Conner Leavitt and Adele Zaikman
Yikes! I know this is Adele’s first real partnership, but I do not feel like she showcased Conner at all. The disappointing thing is that when he danced last year with Whitney, I saw the potential in him. The reviews agreed that sending him home first felt brutal, especially since this specific style did not help him, leaving him basically unmoved from where he started. I am so sad I could not see more of him, but he tried.