College is supposed to be one of the easiest places to meet people. You are constantly surrounded by students in your classes, residence halls, dining halls, clubs and events, yet, somehow, being surrounded by people does not always mean you feel like you have found your people.
Starting college can make you realize that making friends is not always as easy as it seemed in high school. In high school, you could see the same people almost every day. You had classes together, ate lunch together and often participated in the same activities. In college, everyone has different schedules, interests and routines. You might sit next to someone in class for an entire semester and never have a conversation outside of it.
That can make finding genuine friendships feel like a much bigger process.
Finding your place
One of the hardest parts of college can be figuring out where you fit. There are so many opportunities to meet people, but that does not mean every group will automatically feel like the right one.
This article from The Conversation explores some of the reasons making friends at university can feel more difficult than students expect. College brings together people from different backgrounds and gives them countless opportunities to meet, but building actual friendships takes more than simply being around someone.
That is something I have noticed throughout my own college experience. Meeting someone is easy. Turning that introduction into a friendship is a completely different thing.
Sometimes it takes seeing someone multiple times before you become comfortable enough to talk to them. Other times, a friendship can start from something as simple as sitting next to someone in class or realizing you both enjoy the same activity.
Finding your niche
Getting involved can make those connections feel more natural. Clubs and organizations give students the opportunity to meet people who already have something in common with them.
This article from Presidential.edu discusses how college clubs can help students meet people while also allowing them to explore their interests and develop new skills.
The important part is finding something you actually enjoy. Joining a club just because you think it is where you are supposed to meet people may not lead to meaningful connections. Finding an activity that genuinely interests you gives you a reason to keep showing up.
That can be anything from a campus organization or sport to volunteering, a part-time job or activity you have always wanted to try. Sometimes finding your people starts with simply finding something that feels like you.
buidling A community through greek life
For some students, Greek life can become another way to find that community. This article from Unigo.com discusses how Greek organizations can help students create connections with other members while also creating opportunities to meet people beyond their immediate circle.
For me, joining Chi Omega at Kent State has been one part of my college experience that has allowed me to meet people I might not have crossed paths with otherwise. Being part of an organization gives you people you regularly see and experiences you can share, which can make forming friendships feel more natural.
Of course, joining an organization does not automatically mean you will instantly find your best friends. Like any other friendship, those relationships take time. You have to actually get to know people beyond the first introduction.
The awkward stage of making friends
There is an awkward stage of college friendships that does not get talked about enough.
It is the stage where you know people, but you are not necessarily close them yet. You might recognize someone when you walk across campus, follow each other on social media or talk occasionally after class. You have people around you, but you are still figuring out who you genuinely connect with.
An article from Understood discusses some of the challenges students can experience while adjusting to college and developing new social connections.
While everyone’s experience is different, the transition from high school to college can require students to build an entirely new social network. That process does not happen overnight.
Sometimes it can feel like everyone else has already found their group. You see people walking around campus together, eating together or going to events together, and it is easy to assume that you are the only one still figuring things out.
But college is full of people doing exactly that.
Finding your people
College does not come with an automatic friend group. For some people, friendships happen quickly. For others, it can take months or longer to find people they genuinely feel comfortable around.
Being surrounded by people does not mean you have failed to make friends. It can simply mean you are still in the process of finding the people and communities that are right for you.
College is a time when almost everything is changing at once, including the people around you. You are meeting new people, trying new things and figuring out what parts of college feel most like you.
You might not find those people immediately. But that does not mean they are not out there.
