Being at a commuter school like the University of Houston and trying to have a social life sounds tough, especially when people don’t stick around on campus and go straight home after classes. But that doesn’t mean it’s over for you; once you actually put in the effort to make connections, your social calendar just might become booked and busy.
1. Accept that we’re at a commuter school, but don’t dwell on it
It might feel hopeless knowing this, but it’s not something that’ll change while we’re here. If you live on campus, you might be one step ahead of commuters, and you may be able to get to know the people you see often around your dorm building or dining hall, particularly when it’s the weekend when the campus is empty and all that’s really there are people who live on campus. Commuter or not, you will have to put yourself out there and put in the effort regardless.
At a commuter school, you’ll see that many people only come on campus for class and hang out briefly before leaving. So you can’t exactly have a “hey, let’s just go hang out” moment with everyone. That’s why the method is to plan ahead. If there’s someone in class, a club, or wherever else on campus where you vibed with someone, plan ahead a little study date or hang out at a date and time. Locking it in ahead of time is better than a spontaneous idea when a lot of people immediately dip out after school.
2. Join Clubs
This might be the most common advice given out, but it works if you play your cards right. Join a club or organization for your major, your hobbies and interests, your culture, or a social club. It might seem a little intimidating to join a crowd of people who might seem like they all already know each other, but you should just go. If you keep showing up and talking to people, you’ll be a familiar face and hopefully make some besties.
3. Put yourself out there (even in unconventional ways)
Some methods might be scary or seem a bit embarrassing, but sometimes being powerful and unexpected makes an impression. Smile and compliment (be specific with the compliment!) the people you walk past on campus. Talk to someone at a party whose outfit you love and get their Instagram. Ask an interesting or weird question to someone you just met in class. Post about your interests online and draw in people who like the same things. Hell, download a dating app and make friends, if not lovers!
4. Find a third place
Your main places are home/your dorm, classrooms, and your workplace (if you work). You need a place that doesn’t really fall in those spots. That third place might look like a coffee spot on or off campus (shout out to Cougar Grounds!), your favorite boba place, the library, the rec, the gym, or the Pilates studio. You’ll see familiar faces if you show up at the same place often. You can take your current besties to these third places as well.
5. Initiate, don’t wait.
Everyone expects someone else to initiate. You have to be the person who initiates. Send the first text, ask your friends, make the group chat; people love someone who makes things happen.
6. Love the city
Most people at UH don’t live on campus, but they do live in or around Houston. As cursed Houston can be sometimes, the city has so much to offer for study and hangout spots. There are so many food spots around, especially in Bellaire, Katy Asiatown, and Downtown. There are plenty of bars and clubs around Downtown and Montrose. Houston might seem like a concrete hell sometimes, but there’s also plenty of nature and beautiful parks. There are also fun seasonal events around town. You just have to find what you like.
7. Protect your energy & choose your friends wisely
The type of people you surround yourself with does define you, so you don’t have to keep around people who you don’t exactly vibe with. You won’t like everyone you meet, and you don’t have to be friends with just about anyone and take whoever’s out there, and that’s okay! You also don’t have to always be a people pleaser and say yes to every single outing if you don’t want to, especially if you’re busy.
Your social life isn’t gonna happen magically; you have to be out there and be consistent. Step out a little and open up!