When digital companions replace real friendships, what happens to our humanity?
Meet your ai best friend
A few weeks ago, I came across an app called “Tolan: Alien Best Friend.” The mission of the app is to provide users with an online AI companion that they can talk to, that helps them complete tasks, understands them and can even give them advice on what they should wear.
This made me wonder, are we losing our minds? Our growing dependency on AI and technology may be contributing to a decline in genuine human connection and self-awareness.
When ChatGPT rose in popularity in 2023, AI was introduced as a helpful tool. It was something we could use to brainstorm ideas, edit our writing, organize our thoughts and plans and help with our homework (shh…). But as this increasingly advanced technology continues to expand, the line between a helpful tool and something more influential has begun to blur.
The rise of Ai dependence
There is even research beginning to explore how people form dependencies on AI.
According to research from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), 17.14% of adolescents showed AI dependence the first time researchers collected data (T1), and this number increased to 24.19% the second time data was collected (T2).
The results also showed that adolescents who had mental health problems at T1 were more likely to develop AI dependence at T2. However, adolescents who showed AI dependence at T1 were not more likely to develop mental health problems later.
In other words, adolescents who were already struggling with their mental health were more likely to turn to AI over time. AI itself did not necessarily cause the mental health problems, but it may be becoming a new place where people go when they already feel disconnected.
And that raises an important question. If people begin replacing conversations with friends, family or even strangers with AI companions, what happens to the human connection we depend on?
the cost of replacing real friendships
While AI companions may seem harmless, relying on them as a replacement for real friendships could ultimately do more harm than good. For someone who struggles with social skills, an AI companion might initially feel helpful. It offers conversation without judgment, awkward pauses or fear of rejection.
But the comfort of that safety can also become a limitation. Social skills develop through experience, including uncomfortable conversations and moments of uncertainty. Without real interaction, those skills may never fully develop.
If someone relies entirely on AI for companionship, they may never push themselves to step into real social situations. Over time, this can reinforce the very anxiety they were trying to avoid. The easier option becomes the digital one.
Small decisions, big consequences
There is also the question of dependency. If someone constantly turns to AI for reassurance, advice or decision-making, what happens when that technology is suddenly unavailable? Losing access to it, even temporarily, could create anxiety.
Apps like Tolan push this dependency even further. One feature allows users to show the AI friend their closet so it can choose what they should wear. While this may seem convenient, it also raises questions about how much decision-making we are giving away.
Small decisions, whether about how we spend our time, what we share with others, or how we respond to challenges, shape who we are and help us learn independence. When AI begins making these daily choices for us, we risk losing opportunities to develop confidence, self-reliance and identity.
Beyond job loss
Our concern should not be about robots taking our jobs. It should be about our humanity, our sanity and the slow erosion of our minds. Technology should support our lives, not replace the experiences that help us grow.
Source
Huang S, Lai X, Ke L, Li Y, Wang H, Zhao X, Dai X, Wang Y. AI Technology panic-is AI Dependence Bad for Mental Health? A Cross-Lagged Panel Model and the Mediating Roles of Motivations for AI Use Among Adolescents. Psychol Res Behav Manag. 2024 Mar 12;17:1087-1102. doi: 10.2147/PRBM.S440889. PMID: 38495087; PMCID: PMC10944174.