Twenty-one: the new age of perfection
Applying for college, choosing a major, scheduling classes, joining clubs, surviving financially, and trying to make new friends; the entire college experience can be extremely overwhelming for the average individual. Being a woman, it is even more difficult. Young women are expected to continuously perform better and better with each year. By twenty-one, we’re expected to be nearly done with a diploma that is dripping in academic excellence, have years of club experience and involvement, leadership roles, and a clear path on what we want to do the rest of our lives, plus a plan for starting a family. Here’s the truth: this is unrealistic and sets unnecessary expectations on women.
Think of the last time you looked at a younger girl and told them “You need to know exactly what you want to do when you apply to college,” or “don’t think about having babies in your first few years of work.” Society would look at you as if you were insane for saying that to a young girl. “How dare you crush her dreams!” However, it is completely normal in our society for everyone to put this immense pressure on women, who are barely the legal age for drinking. Think of it like this: you just graduated from college with a degree in finance, but you’re not exactly sure what kind of company you’d like to work for. You tell your grandmother that you think you’re going to wait a few months before entering a solid, long-term, full-time career; this is simply to get a good idea on various companies and their work. Your grandmother tells you that is unacceptable, and since you have your degree you just need to “figure it out.” But also, where is your husband? Shouldn’t you be married by now, or at least engaged? Also, she wants great-grandchildren within the next two years, so you better get on that. Good luck!
See how completely unrealistic and unreasonable those double expectations are? Yet, every day, women are continuously forced to swallow the tough pill of those ideologies. I want you to think back to when relatives or strangers ever said those words to a man you know (hint: they haven’t…)
You’re not alone
Ladies, at the end of the day, people are always going to have an opinion and voice it; it’s inevitable. What is in your control is your career path and decisions. Find a major that fills you with happiness, wait for those experiences, get married if you want and when you want, have children when you feel you’re ready – don’t let those hurtful words be on repeat in the back of your mind throughout your college and professional career.
I turn twenty-one this month, and had someone told me a year ago I needed to have my life figured out, I would’ve been an emotional mess! It is harmful to think you’re not doing things correctly, or that you’re wrong for being unsure about a degree you’re going to utilize for the rest of your life. Making mistakes is part of the game of life, so learn from them and use them to have a better understanding of who you are as an individual. Try new things, because what is the worst that can happen? You fall face-first, pick yourself back up, brush your knees (and maybe get a couple bandages), and keep trying. The best? You flourish in an environment that brings you genuine joy, and you found a path that your soul loves.