In my junior year of college, I was desperate for an internship. In fact, I was so desperate that I once signed up for the most random networking event ever. This event, while on campus, was so far away from my apartment that I had to Uber my way there. The networking event had nothing to do with my field of study, it triple-booked me for the evening, and it ended up only having a handful of professionals—everyone else was other students. They even had me wear this big, bright sticker on my chest to indicate that I wasn’t old enough to drink. I don’t want to look like a baby in front of a potential employer! I ended up spending the first half of the event sitting with everyone else with that big sticker, which ended up just being a bunch of freshmen. All I made from that event were 2 LinkedIn connections. I didn’t even get an email!
In an arguably abysmal job market for Gen Z, networking can feel like nothing short of a nightmare. Not only are the stakes so high, but a lot of folks aren’t taught how to network—they have to learn the hard way. At just about every networking event I’ve ever attended, big or small, there was always at least one person with that nervous look in their eyes of “I don’t know what I’m doing.” The concept of networking itself can sound ridiculous at first. Instead of applying somewhere with my resume and CV, I have to go talk to someone in the wild? And then what? I get a job on vibes alone? How am I supposed to talk to this person, this person who may or may not be deciding right now whether I get this supposed position? What events are even worth attending? Would it be too blunt if I just said, “I need a job, pretty please?”
After a whole semester of this desperate search and finally landing an internship at the end, here’s what I’ve learned about networking, and what I wish I knew beforehand.
1. The more, the merrier
The essence of networking is to widen your network. Okay, yes, that was probably the most infuriating thing I’ve ever written. Let me explain. Whenever you’re trying to get somewhere, achieve something, or get ahold of someone, you know you’re saved when someone says, “I know a guy.” Hence, networking is the act of trying to know as many “guys” as possible. After all, no one can achieve anything on their own. Don’t believe me? How many times have you gone to office hours? How many times have you asked a friend for help? How many times have you asked for a letter of recommendation? Humans are social creatures, and in our times of need, we rely on the relationships we’ve built. But how do you build an effective relationship when networking?
2. It’s anything but transactional
This is where stuff gets weird. While the act of networking is inherently transactional, the actual relationships you create are not. Essentially, your goal when networking with professionals is to create a genuine relationship. Of course, you can still ask for things beyond questions, such as advice or referrals, but this should all be done in the context that you are engaging in a genuine relationship. Networking is not an interview! It’s unlikely that a professional will grant you an internship or job the very first time you meet. Rather, networking is an investment in your future; its return won’t arrive instantly. With enough meaningful connections, the position you need should eventually fall into your hands. You’re just going to need a lot of faith in yourself, and believe that everything will turn out the way you want it to. Of course, you can’t just pull this optimism out from nowhere. You have to foster that very social environment necessary for success. So, how do you spark meaningful connections when networking?
3. Stand out to professionals by fostering personal connections
In my experience, my most successful attempts at networking were when the professional and I connected in some sort of personal way. This can be from sharing the same niche interests of study or specific motivations—basically, anything in relation to one’s ambitions. Emphasis on specific! Don’t do what I did and present your interests as very general as to “widen your net.” Personal connections are made with passion, not with general compatibility. In career fields with a strong referral culture, specifically, I’ve found that people who have gained their current position from a referral will be more likely to refer you as well. Of course, finding these kinds of people isn’t easy, so this is where it becomes a numbers game.
4. Hot take, I hate speed networking
The whole point of networking is to create a real, human connection. But in speed networking, you’re forced to spit out a brief description of who you are, and you have such limited time with the professional you’re speaking with. It’s functionally no different than gleaning over a LinkedIn profile. If the event you’re attending has such a disproportionate ratio of students to professionals, or more importantly, gives such limited time to talk with these professionals, then you’re at a loss. You end up having to hope that the professional in question will even remember who you are once you email them afterwards. Of course, that isn’t to say that speed networking events are a lost cause. You can absolutely find someone who shares your niche in a speed networking event! But especially for someone newer to networking, or someone who isn’t very outspoken or energetic, they can make it difficult to stand out enough to spark the personal connection necessary. It gets a lot trickier in a wider pool.
When sifting through networking opportunities, prioritize events that align with your interests and aren’t very large in size. You don’t even have to network at networking events. One place where I’ve been able to make a surprising amount of connections is the Cactus Cafe’s Open Mic—and I’m pre-law! Clubs, organizations, and anywhere where people gather under a shared interest are fantastic places to start these kinds of connections.
5. Pretend to be confident
Girl, I hear you loud and clear. I also do not like having to leave my room and talk to people. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love people. But man, I get so tired after talking to them.
Fellow introverts, homebodies, and anxious nerds alike, prepare yourself. Reject shyness (just this once). Embody Elle Woods. Inundate yourself with whatever affirmations are necessary to get you through this. Of course, there’s some nuance to this. Don’t just embrace discomfort for the mere sake of it, or you’ll find yourself wasting time at an event like the one I recounted at the start of this article. Networking is supposed to feel fun because you’re engaging with other people who share the same interests and motivations as you. At the end of the day, you deserve to be here. Don’t apologize for making your presence known!
6. Eat a filling meal beforehand!
Okay, this next one’s going to sound a little silly. A lot of networking events provide food, like sandwiches, baked goods, charcuterie, etc. Whatever you do, though, do not arrive at the event so hungry that said event becomes your next meal! You’ll spend the bulk of the event either with your mouth full, because you’re chewing said food, or thinking about how hungry you are. A full mouth cannot talk, and when you can’t talk, you can’t connect. Or, if you decide not to eat and just tough it out, your remaining brain power will only be able to think about how hungry you are, and not be able to fully focus on what the professional is saying. Yes, those sandwich trays look immaculate, but please fill up beforehand. You’ll thank me later!
7. Expect nothing but surprises
Once the event ends, you get a professional’s contact, and you reach out to them afterwards (in a timely manner, of course), it’s out of your control. Sometimes, you’ll get ghosted. Sometimes, they’ll agree to meet up, but their schedule is so incompatible with yours that they give up. But sometimes, they’ll refer you to someone important, someone pivotal in your career. Sometimes, they’ll even offer to be your mentor. It’s kind of like a gacha game—to some extent, unfortunately, you’re gambling with your time. But if you play your cards well, it’s certainly not the kind of game you have to be pessimistic about. Even if you end up not making any connections from an event, you still have that experience itself to learn from.
8. Maintain those relationships!
For professionals who decide to stay connected with you, maintain those relationships! Find time to get coffee, hang out, anything. Your relationship should grow beyond the context in which you guys met. Don’t let a connection like this go to waste! When you’ve developed a long-lasting, meaningful relationship with a professional in your field, you’ve successfully created a connection you can rely on.
9. Whatever you do, don’t give up
The “magic” of networking isn’t something you can control. It’s something where you have to keep showing up, even when you’ve lost hope. There’s still so much joy to be found in building these meaningful relationships. And of course, when you finally score the position of your dreams, don’t stop networking. Keep going out of your way to make friends across workplaces in your field(s) of interest. You’ll never know when they might come in handy!