After many events this summer that truly tested my sanity, I found it in my best interest to delete the apps and start all over again. It might have been the most rewarding, productive choice I have ever made. I didn’t have Snapchat or Instagram for almost two months. This was not at all a revolutionary choice, and it is quite frankly a bit embarrassing to write an entire article about how life-changing this menial choice was for me. It should never be a crazy thing for someone to not have social media for only two months out of their life, but I think in this day and age, it becomes a bit of a rare thing. My friends and I are all very aware of our problematic tendencies in consuming media, whether that’s endless scrolling on TikTok, unhealthy comparisons to people on Instagram, or addictions to the dopamine hits we get from algorithms.
Summer was the perfect time for me to try this separation, and I genuinely needed it. I was in a horrible state of mind, facing typical nineteen-year-old catastrophic events and handling them with anything but grace. I was using social media as an escape from the harsh realities I was facing every day. I couldn’t run away from my problems anymore; the boredom and alone time imposed by summer forced me to face my issues head-on, and I could no longer rely on unhealthy, temporary distractions to manage them. Also, since it was summer, I did not really need any of these apps. Not that I ever need them, but Instagram is a decent way, as a college student, to stay connected to campus updates, game schedules, and events for clubs or organizations. Off campus, I didn’t need any of that. There is nothing I needed to stay tuned to.
But more importantly, stepping away from social media brought a kind of forgotten joy back into my life. A quieter joy. The kind you notice only when everything else stops buzzing. So here are my thoughts after a couple of months since I redownloaded the apps.
When I came back, it felt different
I redownloaded everything at the end of August when school officially kicked into gear, and I moved back in on campus. I didn’t return with any expectations, and since I had enjoyed the separation so much, I continued imposing limitations on myself. I turned my notifications off for Instagram, and they are still off. I often forget the app is there, which is honestly amazing.
When I came back, though, the habit of mindlessly scrolling returned. When I was bored or procrastinating homework, I would open my phone and find myself ten minutes deep into Instagram reels before I even realized what I was doing. It felt automatic, almost like a reflex that I didn’t necessarily consent to. Over the summer, when I felt this same sense of boredom, my first reflex was never to pick up my phone and scroll. That instinct had been entirely wiped out. Instead, I actually did things—crazy, right?
I went for walks. I read books. I journaled. I cleaned my room. I sat with my thoughts, even when they were painful and uncomfortable. It really grounded me as a person to do this in a dire, scary time when the idea of analyzing my own brain sounded like actual torture. Of course, summer is different, and the ability to just pick up a book and read for pleasure or sit for hours thinking isn’t always feasible when a five-page paper deadline is staring at you on your computer. It’s much easier and more convenient in these moments at school to pick up my phone and doom scroll when I feel overwhelmed or upset. However, the stark difference really showed me how much happier I am when I make the time for those meaningful activities. Rather than taking a break and scrolling on my phone every ten minutes while doing homework — which ultimately triples the amount of time it takes — I try to get the homework done so that I can do the things that make me feel solidly myself and happy. It’s like, now whenever I catch myself in a mindless scroll, a tiny alarm goes off in my brain: you weren’t doing this three months ago, and you don’t actually want to be doing this now.
i could “exist” more
After deleting social media, I just felt so much more in the moment. A sunset was just a sunset. A cute outfit was just a cute outfit. If I wanted to reach out to someone, it was because I was genuinely thinking about them, not simply because they popped up on my feed. Funny moments, happy moments, and sad moments were all wholeheartedly mine or shared amongst those that I love the most. There was no pressure to document anything, consume anything that validated my feelings, no pressure to prove I was having fun or doing something worthwhile. I was just existing.
Now, especially after being on campus, I feel myself slipping back into that documentation mode. I pull out my phone to capture moments between my friends and me or a picture of something pretty, but I do not think that is a bad thing at all. I have learned to view documentation differently. I am taking pictures and videos because I want to hold onto these moments, not because I need others to see them. The tendencies of holding back from posting or posting for the wrong reasons always remain in the back of our minds. It’s human nature. However, I certainly have those thoughts much less often. I’m on social media much less than before, and I’m using it for myself. I think having those boundaries is essential. I also now recognize that the moment it gets too much, I wholeheartedly know I can step away.
I have so much more self-control now
Deleting social media was really not a super tough task. I was using it so problematically prior to removing it, so I genuinely knew it needed to leave my access. However, the act of removing it, unplugging from others, not knowing what anyone was doing, and learning to truly not even care made me so much stronger mentally. I no longer needed to check up on people I barely knew, post things for no reason, and consume content that didn’t really mean anything to me.
More importantly, removing mindless apps stripped away the band-aid I had been turning to for months. I forced myself to get up and go to the gym, write my feelings down, and face reality. Deleting it may have tested my self-control in a few minor ways, but filling its void and using that to be the most productive version of myself is what truly transformed my self-control and personal habits. It really taught me a key lesson: when you remove the bad habit from your life entirely and force yourself to face its absence, you learn so much more about yourself in the process. This obviously applies to so many other facets of life, and is certainly not a novel piece of advice. But you truly do not learn this lesson wholeheartedly until you decide you are ready and force yourself to do so, and it is a critical lesson to learn. Friends and family can tell you to stop a bad habit all they want, but until you truly make the conscious choice to test your limits and work through the difficulty, you won’t succeed. I think the fact that I tested my personal discipline on such a small scale with something that I truly felt I could control is why it worked out. I could face the challenge without feeling entirely overwhelmed and terrified, and I can implement these habits into my life in preparation for dealing with similar challenges on a larger scale.
Deleting social media didn’t magically fix my life, and it certainly did not erase all the problems I had outside of the apps, but it did force me to sit with myself long enough to hear what I had been ignoring. And when I came back, I returned with a completely new understanding of how I want to interact with these apps. My biggest takeaway was letting myself be bored and allowing myself free time. Sometimes our minds, especially during the semester, just need a break, and I mean a real break. I mean a break where we are not doing any homework, consuming any sort of media, or turning to any other safe distraction. This personal obstacle was critical for me at that point in my life, and I am so grateful I did it. Because even though I am back online now, I’m back with boundaries. I’m more grounded. More intentional.
Much of this article probably felt like me telling you things you already know. It’s plain and simple information that social media isn’t inherently good for us. You probably already recognize its harmful effects and manage your usage responsibly. For me, though, I had to hit rock bottom before I realized I needed to step away. I had to be in a horrible mental state, using coping mechanisms that were only worsening things, to recognize that I needed to force myself to start over. And if you’re in a similarly tough situation in any capacity of your life — whether that be facing a lack of discipline or feeling like neither of your feet is solidly on the ground — maybe try challenging yourself with some small habit like this that you can entirely control. It might work out as it did for me, and it might help you to learn one of life’s many lessons on your own terms.
If you had told me a year ago that I would delete all social media to “ground myself,” I would’ve laughed. I probably would’ve told myself to just step away from my phone for a couple of hours and move on. While that works for some people, I learned that sometimes you really just need a mental deep clean. Stepping away didn’t change everything, but it changed enough, and that was exactly what I needed.