Burnout is a familiar feeling for a lot of people. Some stress over the work they think they should be doing, some feel guilty, and others become so anxious that they don’t even know how to get it all done. All these responses are valid, but they can be troubling when you don’t know why they’re there or what to do about them.
Oftentimes, people fall into the trap of thinking that they’re “just lazy,” and that’s why they can’t get everything done. In my experience, that only leads to more shame, more guilt, and more trouble figuring out what to do and how to do it.
So, what really is the difference between laziness, procrastination, and executive dysfunction?
Laziness
To me, laziness is when a person’s motivation to do something is overcome by their desire to do nothing. Even laziness isn’t as bad as it seems from the outside. Oftentimes, it protects people from becoming even more burnt out or more depressed.
For example, someone who doesn’t see how their work or their job impacts their lives or anyone else might become lazy because they’re trying to find more purpose or protect themselves from giving all their energy to a cause they don’t care about.
Otherwise, laziness could be a manifestation of general fear, fear of failure, or fear of success. If a person had a fear of failure, they might think it’d be easier not to try at all. Otherwise, they might not have the confidence to be successful and therefore choose to be lazy because the situation feels unfamiliar.
Additionally, it’s important to avoid labels. Feeling lazy while doing some specific work or task doesn’t mean you’re a lazy person in general; it just means you get lazy with that one job or task. It’s just your body and mind telling you you’re looking for something else, either externally or in your mind. Search for it!
Procrastination
On the other hand, I feel like procrastination is when a person feels anxious about doing something but declines to do it until they absolutely must. What causes my procrastination is usually stress, burnout, fear of failure, perfectionism, overwhelm, or other similar afflictions.
The difference between laziness and procrastination is guilt and shame. While laziness and procrastination both involve not doing a task, when I’m feeling lazy, I might not feel guilty about it. Meanwhile, when I procrastinate, that’s when I feel shame and guilt for not doing work. Procrastination often makes me anxious, and if it does the same for you, that’s okay.
If you feel like you procrastinate a lot, maybe looking internally at exactly why you’re anxious might help, beyond all the individual tasks and assignments. Often, we avoid things because something about them scares us. Observing and processing the big problem behind the small ones might help ease some anxiety.
Executive Dysfunction
The last category is executive dysfunction. For me, this is when a person struggles with completing certain tasks involving time management, organization, emotional regulation, memorization, change (setting, activity, etc.), or planning.
Much like procrastination, it involves feeling guilt and shame (one may think, Why can’t I do this?), with a sense of confusion attached. One with executive dysfunction may not know exactly why they’re struggling to do something that they don’t see other people struggling with at all.
Unlike laziness and procrastination, executive dysfunction isn’t I don’t want to do this right now, I’ll do it later, it’s, I want to do this, I should do this, why can’t I do this? It’s feeling like you really should be doing something, or really want to be doing something, but your brain isn’t letting you.
This is when the guilt and shame come in.
For example, you could think about doing one or two things that you have to do, but you can’t decide which one to do first or how to do either, and you want to do them both at the same time, but that’s not possible, so your mind either goes frantic or quiet. You might get them both done eventually, but you also might get neither of them done, just because your thoughts were too loud.
Otherwise, it might be something more subtle. You might have an email that you’ve had to send for a week. You’ve written it a dozen times over in your head, and it’s only a few lines, but you still haven’t done it yet, and you don’t know why. This can also include you having a sudden shift in mood and not having a big reason, or even a known reason, for it.
solutions
So, what about it? I find that even having someone in the room can help keep you accountable and on-task. Otherwise, it’s been helpful for me to break down whatever I need to do into smaller steps. For example, instead of writing and sending the email, sometimes I’ll just open the email app, write “Dear…” and see what happens next.
What’s also helped me is to just move around a little bit and change up my scenery. Staying in the same place for too long can keep one in the same standstill mindset.
Lastly, it can be helpful to pair work with something fun or comforting, like maybe some music in the background, or maybe a cute little coffee or tea. Sometimes, a little treat can give us the motivation we need to do whatever we need to do.
In any event, it’s not something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about, and, if you feel like you might have executive dysfunction, it’s not your fault, because the truth is, it’s difficult. The brain fog, the emotional roller coaster, it can all be difficult to manage.
Of course, it’s okay to take breaks. We need a little rest; it is difficult. Remember, a win is a win, even if it’s just remembering to eat enough food, replying to that text you’ve been meaning to answer for days, or even just trying to do something about it. You’re trying. That’s all any of us can ever do.
Regardless of any of these, you’re doing better than you think. Give yourself some credit!
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