1. The Confidence Era (aka 3:00 P.M.)
You have HOURS. You make a latte. You open a blank doc. You even title it something like Final_Essay.docx. You feel unstoppable.
2. The Procrastination Spiral
Suddenly you’re reorganizing your desktop, deep-cleaning your room, and researching if you could realistically vanish and move to Portugal. The doc? Still blank.
3. The “OKay Time to Lock In” Pep Talk
You put on a playlist with names like “study mode” or “romanticizing my burnout.” You type a sentence. You delete it. You stare out the window like you’re in a music video for 13 Reasons Why.
4. The Panic-Induced Productivity Boost
It’s now 8:30 p.m. Adrenaline hits. You can’t ask for an extension now. Suddenly you’re writing like you’ve channelled every academic weapon ever. Your typing speed triples. What are you even writing? Your citations are… well… questionable, but you’re moving.
5. The Bargaining Stage
You start telling yourself things like “It only has to pass,” or “Maybe the prof won’t notice if I skip this section.” You consider submitting whatever you have and accepting your fate.
6. The Technical Difficulty Meltdown
Your doc freezes. Your Wi-Fi cuts out. Your laptop dies and you can’t find your charger. You consider crying… maybe you do. You wonder what life would be like as a bird.
7. The Desperate Word Count Stuffing
You’re adding adjectives like your life depends on it. “Important” becomes “extremely, critically, fundamentally important for society as a whole.” You insert a quote purely because it’s long. Your citations? Still questionable.
8. The Editing-But-Not-Really Phase
You “proofread,” which really means scrolling, skimming, and hoping for the best. You change one comma and call it growth.
9. The Submission Ritual
It’s now 11:58 p.m. F*CK. You whisper a prayer, to who? Anyone. You upload the file. You stare at the “submit” button like it might detonate before you click it. Click. It’s in—barely.
10. The Post-Submission Existential Decline
You slam your laptop shut like it insulted your whole family. You feel empty, drained, relieved, exhausted, and maybe proud? Then you check the syllabus and realize… there’s something else due in two days, not minding the other four classes you have to scramble for. And… repeat!