On September 26, 2023—the National Day of Remembrance for Homicide Victims—a woman shared a TikTok video in which she told a Starbucks employee, “My husband was brutally murdered,” before paying for another customer’s order as an act of kindness. However, her actions received huge criticisms from viewers, who accused her of “trauma dumping ”.
Definition of Trauma Dumping
“Trauma dumping” is the act of sharing past traumatic experiences without the consent or emotional preparedness of the listener. Unlike therapeutic conversations with a trained therapist, who has experience in trauma processing and is more equipped, trauma dumping puts a greater emotional toll on listeners and potentially is unhelpful in resolving trauma.
Having to experience such a life-changing event, like the case of the woman, is undoubtedly traumatizing. Obtaining support by sharing traumatic experiences is crucial for healing and acceptance. However, the context and way of sharing can have a drastic influence on both the sharer and listener.
Trend on social media:
Hashtags on TikTok like #trauma and #traumadump now reach more than 62 million views. Researchers found that strikingly, only 3.7% of videos included trigger warnings, despite having upsetting stories that could impact young people and individuals who have experienced previous traumas.
Misconceptions about Trauma Dumping
We’re often encouraged to spread awareness about mental health, so why isn’t sharing our past traumas with the public seen as a sign of self-acceptance and inclusivity towards mental health?
1. Sharing is not equivalent to self-acceptance
- Sharing traumatic experiences does not inherently lead to healing, especially when it’s not done in a safe and inclusive environment (like social media). Therapeutic modalities highlight the importance of internal processing when it comes to accepting trauma. Crucial steps of trauma recovery include: First, stabilization, where individuals initially try to obtain a sense of safety in processing their trauma (learning how to manage raw emotions, etc). Remembrance and mourning, where individuals start to make sense of their trauma by putting words and the emotion of grief to it (potentially interacting with a therapist). Thirdly, Reconnection & Integration, where the trauma gets integrated into the person’s overall life story, helping the individual to foster a sense of self.
2. Public sharing doesn’t guarantee inclusivity
- Overexposure to trauma can make online social media users desensitized. This could possibly evoke avoidance instead of empathy in the viewers’ attempt to help support the person sharing.
- Some people monetize on the trend of trauma dumping, seeking attention or likes. This drives the focus away from forming interpersonal connections.
Psychological theories
Why do people tend to trauma dump online?
From a psychological perspective, this can be explained by self-disclosure, which is a bonding strategy where people share their personal information with others or experiences, aiming to improve intimacy with that person. This is a natural way to seek understanding, no matter online or in daily life.
However, the structure of social media also plays a great role. Psychologist Jacqueline Nesi proposed a collection of representative features of social media, named the transformation framework. One key feature of the framework is publicness, which is the ability to spread information among hundreds or thousands of viewers, increasing attention and sympathy that makes oversharing seem worthwhile. Another aspect is availability, suggesting that the easy access of social media supports impulsive sharing where thoughts and feelings might not be rationally processed. The act of oversharing is reinforced by quantifiable metrics of views, comments, and likes. Each of these updates serves as a reward, making sharers receive a sense of recognition and bonding, making them more likely to share again.
The Harm of Trauma Dumping
To the sharers
Trauma dumping is usually emotionally intense and unstructured, like the example presented at the start of the article. The lack of constructive solutions may not guide the individual to heal, but instead, it would lead to potential psychological harm, such as rumination. Rumination is the repetitive focus on one’s negative, intrusive thoughts. Every comment, like, or even silence from social media could serve as a potential stressor that invites sharers to revisit their trauma.
To the listeners
Listening to the traumas of others can foster secondary traumatic stress, leading to symptoms similar to first-hand trauma, such as fear, sadness, stress, and physical symptoms.
How to effectively process trauma
The process of dealing with trauma is deeply personal; each individual might adapt to different ways of healing.
Seeking professional therapists can place individuals in safe environments, and therapists might use CBT to reconstruct negative thoughts and beliefs, reshaping how the trauma is mentally stored. Therapy also regulates distress and integrates trauma into an individual’s life narrative, using Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET). Other therapeutic approaches, like journaling, help individuals express and rationalize what happened.
The issue of Desensitization
I personally dislike the term “trauma dumping”. As a trending term on social media, it carries negative connotations that stigmatize mental health, overgeneralizing people who disclose painful experiences as attention-seekers or inappropriate. Viewing all disclosure as “dumping” forms an environment where people become numb and desensitized to others’ struggles. This neglects and reduces advocacy for people who are trauma survivors. It’s important to know that there’s nothing wrong with conveying negative emotions or experiences; what matters is how they are communicated. When sharing is mindful and consensual, it can build connections and support a community that values mental well-being.