I saw something on Instagram the other day that really resonated with me. It was a video of what seemed to be someone enjoying a night in, titled “JOMO not FOMO”. Obviously, the J here stands for joy. Joy of missing out? You’re kidding me, right?
Yes, I know it seems ridiculous. But as I kept scrolling, I couldn’t help but think about what that creator was really trying to say. After some time, I recognized that the saying was simply a framing technique- one that could totally change how we view those FOMO inducing moments that we all experience. There are a few scenarios that I want to share.
The first scenario that I thought of was not being able to go out because you have work to do. In this situation, I would definitely have FOMO. Sitting in my dorm doing homework while my girls go out and having fun… not fun at all. But then, I thought about the JOMO perspective. Using up energy to be frustrated with the situation accomplishes nothing – it makes you feel upset and likely stops you from actually doing what you needed to do in the first place. Instead, that energy could be used to your benefit. You could decide to have a super productive night, finishing all your work and anything else you wanted to get done. By simply shifting how you framed your circumstances, you could turn a night filled with negative emotions into one that leaves you feeling accomplished and at peace.
Another situation I thought of is a classic: not being invited. This one HURTS, but it’s also a perfect example of how to apply the JOMO perspective. Not being invited somewhere by your friends brings about all the feelings, from anger to betrayal to sadness, and it can be easy to dwell in those feelings. But ask yourself this: what is dwelling on these feelings doing for me? The answer is nothing. Instead, you can choose to look at the situation as one of clarity. If the people close to you chose not to invite you somewhere, that says more about them than it does about you. It’s a chance to have a conversation and truly reflect on where your true friendships lie.
These scenarios are not ones of joy, but the J in JOMO doesn’t necessarily stand for joy. This perspective isn’t about pretending that tough moments don’t hurt. It’s more about embracing those moments and choosing the energy you use to deal with them. There is true power in shifting your mindset from one so concerned about others to one focused on reflection and self-compassion. And in a world that is constantly reminding us what others are doing, that mindset can be life changing.
FOMO can go, because JOMO is in.