Unless you move to Antarctica or hide in a bunker for the rest of your life, running into your ex is kind of inevitable. And after a breakup, it can feel like you’re seeing your ex everywhere… until you don’t. Then, what gives? Well, according to TikTok, the “last meeting” theory might be the reason why your ex stays in your life before leaving it out of nowhere. (That is, if they don’t move to Antarctica, OFC.)
If you’re confused, allow me to catch you up. The last meeting theory is a popular relationship theory circulating on TikTok that says you will never run into certain exes after interacting with them one last time after the breakup. The reason? Well, Tikok says it’s because you’ve learned everything you needed to learn from each other. “Even if you live nearby or have the same social circle, the last meeting theory says you won’t cross paths ever again,” licensed sexologist, Sexual health expert at Passionerad, and relationship therapist Sofie Roos says. “Many people find it comforting to know that the chapter is fully closed, and the last meeting theory gives them permission to move on.”
Now, if there’s any actual science behind the last meeting theory? The answer is probably not. However, Roos said that embracing the viral TikTok theory can help some people move on from their ex. “This theory is human, comforting, and reflects life in a realistic way, and even though there are no great studies backing it up, it’s the truth for many people,” Roos says. “We tend to meet our exes at least once after the split, but then suddenly, we never see them again, and might wonder for a long time what happened to them.”
However, Roos says that it’s probably not the best idea to use this theory as an excuse to get back with your ex. And as a girl who has literally done that before (sue me!), she’s right. “To see them again also doesn’t mean that you need to pick up the relationship to solve things out,” Roos says. “View these meetings as natural and a part of life, and if the meeting makes you feel all the feels again, remember that you’re the one in charge of when you want to close the door, so after seeing them again, tell yourself that it’s over if that’s what you want it to be.”
The theory says that you don’t know exactly the last time you’ll see your ex, but in the event that you run into them post-breakup, Roos recommends keeping things short and cordial. “While small talk can feel great, it’s also OK to just say hello and then move on,” she says. “It also helps to talk with someone afterwards if the meeting makes you remember things that make you sad or feel down — meeting an old ex is tough, so don’t keep those feelings for yourself… let someone in!”