Saying no to people is something I have struggled with for a while. I am a people pleaser at my core, so saying no and possibly disappointing someone is one of my worst fears. I usually say yes to things even if it means extra stress for me.
As this is my last semester at Bona’s, I decided that I would only do stuff that I actually wanted to and say no to the things I did not want to do. So, I have said no to things like going out on a night I did not want to, saying no last-minute extra shifts at work when I have preexisting plans, and saying no to continuing the internship that ended in December and instead taking a shift working the desk at the Quick Center.
Most people have been super understanding when I say no. They understand that the no is not a diss on them and it is simply because I cannot handle doing whatever it is at the moment. However, not everyone is as understanding, and it comes from the no I said to continuing the internship I had.
For context, the internship was set to end last semester, and I would transition to a shift at the desk of the Quick from the moment I started the internship. There were some other staff changes which is why they asked me to stay on, but I also trained two girls during fall semester so that when my internship ended they were not stuck without interns. So, I passed on all of the knowledge to two amazing girls that are completely capable of doing what I did and because of this they do not really need me.
So, the fact that certain people treat me differently because I said no for my own reasons is upsetting. Even though it is upsetting, I realized that it was the right decision for me, and that is all that matters at the end of the day. In order to not burn out, I have to put myself first. I am learning that there is nothing wrong with that. While saying no is still something I struggle with at times, I have gotten better at it. I still feel bad when I know that saying no may disappoint someone else, but I know that it’s better for me. So, for those who also struggle with saying no and putting yourself first, just know it is ok to say no and be a little selfish at times. You can put yourself first. There is power behind the word no.