Authenticity & Dark Humor: Jennette McCurdy’s Voice to College Students

Former television star and author of “I’m Glad My Mom Died” Jennette McCurdy opens up about the dark side of Hollywood and how she grew through her struggles and came out her most authentic self.

Introducing: Jennette

Rutgers University-New Brunswick hosted a guest speaker near and dear to our hearts to discuss her New York Times #1 Bestselling memoir “I’m Glad My Mom Died.” You know her as Sam Puckett from Nickelodeon’s “iCarly” and “Sam and Cat,” but Jennette McCurdy is so much more than the actress who filled our childhoods with laughter. She’s a revolutionary woman who did what many fail to do in their lives: she found her voice, and she isn’t afraid to use it.

When I heard McCurdy was coming to our campus, I jumped to RSVP, and boy, am I glad I did. Seeing this woman was better than I ever could have imagined. Her words of wisdom to over a thousand students up close and personal changed my perspective of our places in the world. McCurdy shared the deeper meaning behind her experiences not only as a child star but also as a daughter, sister, and young adult who, despite her stardom, still feels normal things just like us: pain, grief, happiness, and it radiated off her the entire time.

From the moment she walked out on stage, one significant thing stuck out: this woman was real. She was wearing everyday clothes you could find in your closet, her hair was tied up, and she spoke with a confidence that was neither stuck up nor entitled. She just spoke. And when she did, you better have been listening.

Answering the moderator’s questions with the utmost honesty we were all dying for, McCurdy spoke about writing her memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died in a way that was healing and represented growth for not just her present 32-year-old self but for her 6-year-old self, whom the first part of her book is ‘narrated by.’ McCurdy claimed she “liked giving her younger self a voice,” considering so much of her life was dictated by others. That made what voice she did have all the more important. And she wanted her words to mean something. 

Authenticity and… dark HUmor?

McCurdy couldn’t afford to be anything less than herself in whatever way she could, which during her time on Nickelodeon was through journaling and later in therapy. This shaped what McCurdy herself said was one of her most important values—authenticity—which, in her words, is the definition of ‘Who is Jennette McCurdy?’ 

She was authentic in her use of dark humor while tackling difficult topics:

• She was authentic when she shared that memory of her battling an eating disorder in a Disneyland bathroom, and some little kid stuck an autograph book under the stall and asked her to sign next to Goofy. Yet, she still managed to laugh about it.

• She was authentic when she choked up about how her brother Marcus was in the audience, resonating with his sister’s memories and experiences in more ways than anyone else could imagine. 

• She was authentic when she said she came up with the title I’m Glad My Mom Died before she even wrote the book and made her publisher’s marketing department’s heads spin. 

Authentic. Jennette McCurdy’s emphasis on authenticity comes from her experience as an actress, a celebrity, a broken girl wearing a facade, and a people pleaser. But it was only after her now-therapist “saw through the bullsh*t” that she actually started to grow. 

She needed to break down her walls and let herself shine through. 

advice for you

And that’s what she said we, as college students, also need to do. We live our lives for ourselves, not for others. We have a right to feel pain, grief, pride and happiness. We have a right to pursue our dreams, to succeed and fail, but only if we do this as our authentic selves. Of all of her advice, these points stuck with me the most:

Live your life authentically. 

“Follow the excitement.” And that doesn’t mean YOLO; it means taking a risk every once in a while. It’s okay to try new things as long as it makes you happy and keeps you real. 

“If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a no.” Don’t feel pressured to be anyone but yourself. Do what Jennette McCurdy would: follow your heart and your gut. 

All of this is out of an authenticity you owe to yourself before anyone else because, as McCurdy reiterated, only you can know what’s best for you. 

And I plan on carrying that with me for the rest of my life. 

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