The title might be a little misleading, so let me clear things up right away. No, my best friend isn’t dead. She’s alive and well, in perfect health. We aren’t going through a friendship breakup either — our bond is as strong as ever. The truth is, she’s moving away. Back in July of this year, my friend, Melissa, made a life-altering decision that will shape her future. Rather than pursuing her criminal justice major at Michigan State University, she chose to enlist in the United States Navy. As I write this, she’s about to leave for boot camp in about 10 days. I wanted to take a moment to reflect on how I feel about my best friend moving away for the first time.
To give you some background on our friendship, I met Melissa when we both danced at the same studio. I had known of her since I was around 10 years old, but we didn’t become close until we were 13. We bonded over a summer of intense dance practice, as we were the two oldest girls in the class. From there, our friendship grew, and she quickly became one of my favorite parts of going to class. My best memories with her were in tap class, which was our shared favorite style of dance. We would always laugh, make up routines, and show them off to the rest of the class.
Things took a sudden turn, however, when she decided to quit dancing. She had lost her passion for it. I was a complete mess on her last day of class. I had finally formed such a meaningful connection with someone from dance, only for her to walk away. I was devastated. Fast forward to March 2020. Like most people during that time, I suddenly had a lot of free time on my hands. One day, Melissa reached out to me out of the blue and asked if I wanted to FaceTime. The rest is history. From that moment, we picked up where we left off and became as close as ever. Now, five years later, she’s my best friend. We’ve shared so many milestones together, growing from teenagers into young adults, and I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better person to go through it all with.
I’ll never forget the first time she told me she was enlisting. I couldn’t believe it. I honestly thought she was joking, or that it was some sort of prank. This couldn’t be real, right? But after a day or two, the reality set in — this wasn’t a joke. This was happening. I watched her go through the entire enlistment process, from meeting with the recruiter to receiving her official ship-out date. The whole thing was surreal.
I felt so many different emotions. On one hand, I was genuinely happy for Melissa. I’ve always believed that a college degree is not the only path to success in life or a career. It’s often better to make this kind of decision before committing to the cost and time of college. But on the other hand, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of bitterness. As selfish as it sounds, I had been looking forward to the fun times we would have together at MSU. I was excited about the memories we would create and the chance to spend more time together, especially since we’ve always lived about 30 minutes apart. When I went off to college, that distance stretched to two hours. It was tough not seeing her as much, but knowing I could always come home on weekends or during extended breaks to hang out was a comfort. Now, with her enlisting in the Navy, our time together will be almost nonexistent. She’ll be out of state, with limited time to call or text. I felt lost. I didn’t know what to say or do.
As I’ve spent more time reflecting on our relationship, I’ve come to some important realizations that I feel I need to acknowledge. First and foremost, I am incredibly grateful for having Melissa in my life. She has been my best friend during such a formative time, and I truly consider it a blessing to have had her by my side. But with all that reflection, I’ve also had to face a hard truth: we’re not kids anymore. We are no longer in that carefree phase of life where everything feels certain and the future is far away. We’re now at a stage where the choices we make will shape the rest of our lives, and that realization can be both exciting and daunting.
The harsh reality is that we both knew we weren’t going to stay in this small Michigan town forever. We’ve always talked about moving on, exploring new places, and finding our paths. But what I didn’t expect was that this moment would come so soon. It feels like we were just getting started, and now things are changing. In many ways, it feels like the end of an era. But as I’ve been processing it all, I’ve been practicing gratitude and trying to accept that things are shifting. I’ve been cherishing every moment we have left before she leaves, trying to make the most of the time we have together.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is how to handle change. Change, as hard as it can be, doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. It’s just the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another. In fact, change can be a chance for growth and new experiences. Just because Melissa is enlisting in the military doesn’t mean our friendship is over. If anything, the time we do spend together will mean so much more now. We’ll have fewer moments, but those moments will be filled with more intention and depth than before.
I also had to accept that this choice — her decision to join the Navy — was the right one for her, even if it’s not what I would have chosen. This wasn’t about me; it was about her pursuing her dreams, her needs, and her future. And as much as it’s hard to let go of the idea of having her around more, I need to be happy for her. She made a decision that was selfish in the best way — one that puts her first, and that’s something I can respect and support. It’s a reminder that sometimes the best decisions for someone’s growth and happiness aren’t the easiest ones for those around them. And that’s okay. We all have to make choices that are right for ourselves, even if they come with some difficult changes.