Being single is a period of time many people associate with loneliness; even I had a preconceived notion that singlehood is a punishment I need to tough out till my Bridgerton fantasies spontaneously bloom. A part of my “coping” came through practicing a handful of self-care activities, but really, these activities helped me to see the joys of singlehood. Here is a list of five activities I incorporate into my day-to-day that make me more grounded in myself.
1. Exercising
Everyone knows exercising releases endorphins, gives better sleep, lowers the risk of preventative conditions, etc. I started working out solely to lose weight, but over time, I realized every jumping jack, burpee, bicep curl, or sit-up, was an opportunity to push myself beyond the boundaries I thought I had. Every human being requires challenges and overcoming those challenges to live a fulfilling life, and I viewed exercise as a way for me to set small goals, work towards them every day, and relish in surpassing them.
2. Cooking
There’s nothing more remarkable than taking a batch of raw ingredients and transforming them into a flavorful meal (or at least, as flavorful as a college student can achieve). Many times, I improvise meals as I go, where if I spot any extra spices or veggies, I just throw them in a pan and see how it comes out. Whether the food is actually impressive or not doesn’t worry me as much as enjoying the creation process. As a plus, cooking has been an effective way to take my mind off of daily stressors and focus my attention on the present moment.
3. Skincare
Makeup can be a common way for many people to relax and feel bomb in their own skin, but skincare has been my outlet for appreciating my beauty. Although it isn’t as instant as makeup, a daily/nightly skincare routine can have a slow, yet profound effect on our skin’s long-term health. The mere act of washing my face, cleansing, exfoliating, and applying vitamin C has always felt therapeutic, because not only am I supporting my dermal health, I am taking this physical act and correlating my internal mindset to it; every time I scrub off the day’s impurities from my face, I think of it like wiping off the worries in my mind and starting with a rejuvenated version.
4. Journaling
Everyone has gone through their “Dear Diary,” phases, but once spilling out our emotions feels like a chore, people drop the practice. I unintentionally started journaling in high school, but it soon became a five-year practice. It can be difficult to process our emotions by just retaining them in our minds, so I relied on journaling to pour out my heart and CONFRONT what and why I feel a certain way. Journaling became a successful method to lay out my thoughts, put my life into perspective, and come to significant revelations about myself.
5. Meditation
This is probably the most difficult, yet most healing practice for becoming grounded in ourselves. During a period of time when my mental health took some hard hits, I began meditating before falling asleep. Meditation can certainly be a powerful, spiritual tool, but the greatest blessing I saw from meditation was giving myself 10 minutes out of a 24-hour day to not think: just be. Relating to singleness, I went through a period of deep relationship anxiety, and meditation became my saving grace in calming my mind, helping me be in the moment, and even forgiving myself for any irrational, negative thoughts I had.
Singlehood is intimately connected to our self-esteem: you can’t enjoy being single if you feel crap about yourself. There are always times when my insecurities creep up and I feel inadequate about being alone, but I always remind myself: “It’s ok to feel that way. You should be proud of all the steps you take every day to care for yourself, even as small as opening your eyes in the morning.” No one should require a partner to feel worthy of themselves, because, in the end, every breath you take is already something to be honored for.