When rumors were spreading about Olivia Rodrigo’s third album being all about love, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed. As someone who tends to end up in toxic relationships, I secretly longed for more heartbreak songs from Rodrigo’s third album — especially since all of Rodrigo’s song lyrics seem like they’re taken straight from my journal entries.
So, when Rodrigo finally announced her third album’s title, you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love, I immediately flashed back to all of those moments I spent crying in bed, wondering how I could be so in love with someone who treated me so terribly — and why I couldn’t leave. But Rodrigo’s third album title made me come to a big realization: I’ve been that girl who, despite being so in love, is just so sad.
I’m the type of person who falls hard when I fall in love. But with that, I’m also the type of person who stays in relationships even when I’m not happy. During my freshman year of college, my boyfriend told me he wanted to “go on a break,” and I spent weeks crying every night, begging him to stay. Even after we broke up, I still talked to him every day, convinced I could make him fall in love with me again. I was so unhappy — experiencing intense bouts of depression — and, being hours away from home, I eventually transferred schools because of it.
Looking back, I wonder why I stayed with him when I was so unhappy — and as I write that out, I immediately know the answer: I was in love.
During my sophomore year, I got into another relationship, hoping he was “the one.” We argued nearly every single day, and I found myself crying constantly because of something he said or did. I loved him so much, but I was just so sad all the time. I’d hang out with friends, arguing with him over text, and I’d spend my nights cradling tissue boxes, my face soaked in tears, as I wondered when things would get better. Looking back, I wonder why I stayed with him when I was so unhappy — and as I write that out, I immediately know the answer: I was in love.
In the middle of my junior year of college, I found myself talking to a boy again, finally thinking I’d found a healthy fling that would soon turn into a relationship. Somehow, I ended up in a year-long unlabeled situationship that was somehow more toxic than all the rest. I was so infatuated with him and would cling to moments spent together, but I had never been unhappier. I cried constantly, and he was truly the only thing I talked about in my therapy sessions.
While these relationships have caused me so much pain and heartbreak, I’m a firm believer in the idea that every relationship you have teaches you something. And over the years, I’ve learned so much about myself as I’ve cycled through these toxic relationships.
When Olivia Rodrigo’s album name dropped, it reminded me of something: just because you’re in love with someone, doesn’t mean they’re good for it you.
I’m the type of girl to stay in a relationship even when I’m sad because I hang onto the happy moments. And sometimes, it’s not as much that I’m in love, but more so that I’m just used to that person — and how can you possibly leave someone when they’re all you’ve ever known for months and months? But when Olivia Rodrigo’s album name dropped, it reminded me of something: just because you’re in love with someone, it doesn’t mean they’re good for you.
Anytime we see a new celebrity couple hit the headlines, comments flood in about how happy and in love they are. But just because a relationship seems perfect from the outside doesn’t mean it actually is. The truth is, we only ever see the curated moments — the smiles, the photos, the highlights — not the incessant arguments or the tears that happen behind closed doors. And that’s exactly how Rodrigo’s album title makes me feel.
“You seem pretty sad for a girl so in love” is something people have told me for years. I had convinced myself that this was normal — every relationship has its rough patches, even if it lasts for months, right? But I knew deep down that love wasn’t supposed to feel like this, yet I stayed.
If I could go back to my younger self, I’d tell her that it’s OK to leave. You can be in love with someone who’s causing you so much sadness and heartache — but this isn’t real love. Real love is exciting, fun, and most of all, filled with happiness. So, to all my girlies who hopelessly relate to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album title, maybe it’s time we stop being ‘so in love’ with the people who make us so sad.