When rumors were spreading about Olivia Rodrigo’s third album being all about love, Iād be lying if I said I wasnāt a little disappointed. As someone who tends to end up in toxic relationships, I secretly longed for more heartbreak songs from Rodrigoās third album ā especially since all of Rodrigoās song lyrics seem like theyāre taken straight from my journal entries.
So, when Rodrigo finally announced her third albumās title, you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love, I immediately flashed back to all of those moments I spent crying in bed, wondering how I could be so in love with someone who treated me so terribly ā and why I couldnāt leave. But Rodrigoās third album title made me come to a big realization: Iāve been that girl who, despite being so in love, is just so sad.
Iām the type of person who falls hard when I fall in love. But with that, Iām also the type of person who stays in relationships even when Iām not happy. During my freshman year of college, my boyfriend told me he wanted to āgo on a break,ā and I spent weeks crying every night, begging him to stay. Even after we broke up, I still talked to him every day, convinced I could make him fall in love with me again. I was so unhappy ā experiencing intense bouts of depression ā and, being hours away from home, I eventually transferred schools because of it.
Looking back, I wonder why I stayed with him when I was so unhappy ā and as I write that out, I immediately know the answer: I was in love.Ā
During my sophomore year, I got into another relationship, hoping he was āthe one.ā We argued nearly every single day, and I found myself crying constantly because of something he said or did. I loved him so much, but I was just so sad all the time. Iād hang out with friends, arguing with him over text, and Iād spend my nights cradling tissue boxes, my face soaked in tears, as I wondered when things would get better. Looking back, I wonder why I stayed with him when I was so unhappy ā and as I write that out, I immediately know the answer: I was in love.Ā
In the middle of my junior year of college, I found myself talking to a boy again, finally thinking Iād found a healthy fling that would soon turn into a relationship. Somehow, I ended up in a year-long unlabeled situationship that was somehow more toxic than all the rest. I was so infatuated with him and would cling to moments spent together, but I had never been unhappier. I cried constantly, and he was truly the only thing I talked about in my therapy sessions.Ā
While these relationships have caused me so much pain and heartbreak, Iām a firm believer in the idea that every relationship you have teaches you something. And over the years, Iāve learned so much about myself as Iāve cycled through these toxic relationships.Ā
When Olivia Rodrigoās album name dropped, it reminded me of something: just because youāre in love with someone, doesnāt mean theyāre good for it you.Ā
Iām the type of girl to stay in a relationship even when Iām sad because I hang onto the happy moments. And sometimes, itās not as much that Iām in love, but more so that Iām just used to that person ā and how can you possibly leave someone when theyāre all youāve ever known for months and months? But when Olivia Rodrigoās album name dropped, it reminded me of something: just because youāre in love with someone, it doesnāt mean theyāre good for you.Ā
Anytime we see a new celebrity couple hit the headlines, comments flood in about how happy and in love they are. But just because a relationship seems perfect from the outside doesnāt mean it actually is. The truth is, we only ever see the curated moments ā the smiles, the photos, the highlights ā not the incessant arguments or the tears that happen behind closed doors. And thatās exactly how Rodrigoās album title makes me feel.Ā
āYou seem pretty sad for a girl so in loveā is something people have told me for years. I had convinced myself that this was normal āĀ every relationship has its rough patches, even if it lasts for months, right? But I knew deep down that love wasnāt supposed to feel like this, yet I stayed.Ā
If I could go back to my younger self, Iād tell her that itās OK to leave. You can be in love with someone whoās causing you so much sadness and heartache ā but this isnāt real love. Real love is exciting, fun, and most of all, filled with happiness. So, to all my girlies who hopelessly relate to Olivia Rodrigoās new album title, maybe itās time we stop being āso in loveā with the people who make us so sad.