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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Why I Finally Joined A Dating App After Years of Resisting (& Why You Should Too)

For the longest of times, I always was stuck on meeting my SO in person through a mutual friend or random encounter. My first SO I met through a mutual friend and my second SO I met in college. Neither of them worked out in the end. I dated another guy through a mutual friend and, again, it didn’t work out. After that, I was left suffering through heartbreak and a stubborn determination to meet someone the same way I met my past partners. I decided to take a break from dating and see where the world would take me.

When COVID-19 hit, I continued my dating break, saying, “Oh, I’ll get a guy when this is all over, no worries!” My dating break lasted for a year, and then one day in January, I suddenly felt like something was missing. I dismissed it as nothing at first, but then it hit me: Will this ever end? My friends were meeting great guys through dating apps and I was just sitting there and waiting until the pandemic was over for a guy to approach me with roses and say, “COVID is over, let’s date.” 

When that realization hit me, I decided to test the waters. I asked my cousin if she knew any good dating apps and she recommended Bumble because you don’t have to pay for the services. There are also a lot of other perks, like the female founder taking the company public and the fact that it can give women more confidence by making the first move (let me tell you, my confidence has hit a peak after Bumble). After that, I downloaded the app and discovered a whole new world of dating — and here’s what I love about it. 

Related: Slow It Down: How 2020 Changed the Way We Date

They ask personal questions

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Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash

When I opened Bumble, I was immediately bombarded with questions. The app asked me for my birthday, my height, whom I was looking to meet, in what capacity did I want to know them, what my COVID boundaries are, if I had pets, and the big question: did I have or want kids? Surprisingly, I actually liked that they asked all these questions upon me joining the app. It gave another person the choice to interact with me for more than just my looks. It also gave me a chance to interact with people for more than their looks, too, and get to know what they actually wanted in a partner (if they chose to fill out all the questions, that is). I’m big on personality and less focused on looks, so having these answers right off the bat gave me a good indication of who they were as a person.

It’s really fun to swipe left or right

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Photo by Kate Torline from Unsplash

When I first had Bumble, I saw someone I was interested in talking to and I swiped right… or so I thought. After a few moments, I realized that I had accidentally swiped left. I was super disappointed, but then I started looking for the gray X, which meant I was rejecting them, and the gold check mark, which meant I was interested in them. After a while, the algorithm learned what I liked and disliked. It started to give me matches based on the characteristics of who I swiped right on, which I thought was cool.

You get to talk to the person on the app before you form any attachments

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Photo by Sarah Pflug from Burst/Shopify

I had a day to get myself together and make a first impression when I swiped right. On Bumble, the woman has to be the first to reach out and make the first impression. If you don’t know what to say, you can start with an icebreaker. While I didn’t need this for the guy I am dating now, some of the guys didn’t share a lot of information. 

I liked how I was able to actually talk with the person for as long as I wanted to before I gave away personal information, like my phone number. This unofficial vetting process seemed to work both ways: many of the guys just talked to me for a bit, then stopped because they probably realized we weren’t a good fit or they didn’t want a relationship (good riddance!)

The app sends you notifications

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Cristian Dina via Pexels

I got notifications left and right about people swiping on me, messaging me and a lot more to motivate me to go back to the app. The app really wants you to find your SO, so it reminds you when people swipe right on you and that you should go back and keep swiping to find that person. When I was first dating, I liked how it persistently gave me notifications like it wanted me to get back out there and test the waters. Once I began exclusively dating, though, it started to get annoying because I had already found my match and didn’t want to look further.

You’ll see who’s really interested in you and who isn’t

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When I joined Bumble, I thought it would be just another Tinder wannabe where all you do is swipe right and swipe left. Imagine my surprise when I found the twists in this app, including the feature that lets you extend time to make your first impression. Sometimes, I didn’t answer to see if they would want to extend their time to talk with me. Every time someone did, I knew that they were interested in talking to me and reached out to them.

In addition to these already awesome and unique features, they also have a feature called superswipe. Superswipe is a little heart icon that you tap on to make yourself the first match that comes up. If someone uses superswipe with you, it means the other person is really interested in getting to know you better. This was actually how I met the guy I’m seeing now, and it was one of the reasons we started talking!

While the distribution of the COVID-19 vaccine means a slow return to normal life is beginning (though you should still be staying safe), this quarantine could linger into 2022. If you want to date now, the best way to do it is through a dating app. As someone who always believed she would meet someone in person and not through a dating app, my beliefs have officially changed. In the short amount of time I was on the dating app, I actually found someone I really like and I believe you will, too! 

So if you’re single and want someone in your life, talk to your friends to get their recommendation on which dating app is best, download that app, fill out as many details as you can and finally, start swiping!

Nicole Wojnicki is an alumni of LIU Post and has studied Broadcasting Journalism. Nicole drinks Starbucks, tweets about reality TV, spends time with her two cats Shishka and Bob, works out and writes about her interests and life.