While standard Sunday plans in the fall often revolve around fantasy football, Sarah’s* boyfriend, Ben*, is spending his weekends sewing his mother a dress. “I think it’s the sweetest thing,” the 22-year-old University of British Columbia student tells Her Campus. “And it makes me admire him so much.”
Sewing is just one of Ben’s hobbies. He’s also really into chess, and has a regularly scheduled “me-time night” where he builds LEGO sets. And when he finishes a book he gets really into, he summarizes it to Sarah in its entirety. “I love how he gets really into things,” Sarah says.
While Ben’s hobbies tend to fall outside the confines of traditionally “masculine” activities — like video games and sports — that’s what makes him attractive to Sarah. In her eyes, Ben’s interests are what make him “whimsical,” a trait that is becoming more and more desirable to Gen Z women.
Whimsicality can often be associated with the feminine: flowers, fairy tales, accessories, pastel colors. But whimsicality is becoming more than that. On social media, thousands of women post their partners frolicking in the street or locking in on a unique hobby with tags like #whimsy and #whimsical — often alongside the tag #mytype. And in a world shaped by red pill rhetoric and alpha male ideologies, finding a man who’s confident and not confined to the stereotypical idea of masculinity is, honestly, refreshing.
Carleton University student Emily, 22, says she’s attracted to whimsy because it means her boyfriend Zac*, frankly, is more present. “My boyfriend plays the piano,” she says. “It makes me more attracted to him because I love seeing that he is passionate about something. These days, so many of our hobbies are technology-related, and I love seeing him do something more hands-on.”
Those hobbies also come with some unexpected, but welcomed, perks. “I think it’s super cute when he ‘performs’ the song he’s been learning for me once he’s accomplished it,” she says. “Living with him, I love that our apartment is often filled with music rather than video game sound effects.”
The confidence to own your hobbies is incredibly attractive to Gen Zers. A 2023 survey found that 77% of 18-24-year-olds would find someone more attractive if they owned their interests. Additionally, 71% preferred someone to be up-front about their interests, even if it might be seen as uncool or cringe. “Hobbies share a lot about a person, and there’s also something to be said about how attractive it is when a person you love lights up about something they love,” says therapist and social worker HJ Cho. “It takes confidence to do something that may not have external validation.”
Cho also says that a man’s hobby can act as insight as to what he’d be like as a partner. “It’s something that suggests creativity, confidence, generosity, nurturing, and a willingness to be playful over being purely practical,” Cho says. “Whimsy extends from being comfortable enough to be a little silly, curious, and even unconventional at times.”
To be able to learn and engage with his ‘whimsical’ hobbies makes for a connection that goes beyond surface level.
Marie*, 20
Marie*, 20, fell for her current partner, Joe*, for that reason. “My partner has a couple of whimsical hobbies — like his passion for dancing,” the Carleton University student tells Her Campus. “He has also had a temporary hobby for coin collecting.”
For Marie, Joe’s unique hobbies allow her to connect to a different side of him. “To be able to learn and engage with his ‘whimsical’ hobbies makes for a connection that goes beyond surface level,” she says. “I love having a whimsical partner because it brings a different light into my life. Where I can be more narrow-thinking, he is more creative, [prioritizing] joy over stress and seeing the good before the bad. It provides balance and peace in my everyday life.”
Kayda*, 21, feels similarly about her partner, Steven*. “As an aspiring journalist, my boyfriend is into all things writing and researching,” the Trent University student says. “This is perfect since it means I get all the handwritten letters (with his pen collection, of course) and we hit up the best hidden gems on date night.”
Finding a man who is confident in being who he is without feeling the excessive need to prove his worth is simply darling
HJ Cho
To Kayda, Steven’s whimsicality isn’t just a reflection of his interests — it’s a reflection of the kind, emotionally mature, and considerate partner he is. “He shows love quietly; through sweet words and spontaneous surprises,” she says, “like sweet treats and random things I didn’t know I needed.”
For women who date whimsical men, it isn’t so much about the hobbies themself, but what they represent. “Finding a man who is confident in being who he is without feeling the excessive need to prove his worth is simply darling,” Cho adds.
At the end of the day, when it comes to a partner, whimsicality is less about being silly and playful — though that’s definitely part of it. Instead, having a whimsical boyfriend is about admiring your partner’s confidence to embrace things that make them who they are. It isn’t just about sewing, or chess, or LEGO, or pen collections — it’s about authenticity, confidence, curiosity, and the willingness to enjoy themselves without worrying about how it’s perceived. And what’s more attractive than that?
*Names have been changed