Sometimes you just can’t believe what comes out of a college guy’s mouth. Once again, we’ve compiled a list of hilarious, unbelievable, and just downright strange things college guys have said to or about collegiettes!
- “A male senior said this to one of his friends one night as I was checking IDs into a party: ‘Dude, dude, you don’t want to go up there, man. The party sucks. They’re not letting any underage girls in.’” – Kevin, Babson College ‘14
- “One guy said, ‘Do girls just play with their boobs all the time? Because if I were a girl, I’d totally play with my boobs all the time.’” – Mary, Washington University in St. Louis ‘15
- “How I got asked out on a date one time: ‘So… do you want to do something sober sometime?’” – Lindsay, Emerson College ‘15
- “One guy told me he loves me more than [a] Rubik’s Cube. That was supposed to be romantic…” ––Patricia, University of Western Ontario ‘14
- “[My boyfriend] said to me the other day when we were talking about things: ‘You’re just so fun. I have fun doing things with you. You’re almost like a sibling!’ Not a good thing to hear a boyfriend say!” – Gladys*, Douglas College ‘14
- “I have a friend who always uses this pick-up line at bars: ‘Hello, lass, has anyone ever told you that your eyes look like the Irish countryside after the spring rain?’ He then says something along the lines of him being in town for only a couple more days. Of course, this is all said in an authentic-sounding Irish accent, which contributes to his (self-claimed) ‘high success rate.’” – Jenny*, Simon Fraser University ‘15
- “My boyfriend put each of my boobs on each of his eyes and said: ‘Look, boob glasses!’” – Janice*, University of British Columbia ‘15
- Said to Ella*, Kwantlen Polytechnic University ‘14: “If I’m going to hook up with a girl, she has to be a beer drinker.”
- “A guy used the cheesiest pick-up line on me, but it worked. He said, with a completely straight face: ‘Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!’ It definitely got my attention and made me laugh.” – Emily*, Simon Fraser University ‘14
- “My ex’s explanation for why he thought he could tell me how to dress: ‘I’m sorry, I’m so used to playing video games where you can customize your characters, so I guess I felt I could do the same in real life.’” – Rita*, British Columbia Institute of Technology ‘14
- “[My] ex-boyfriend was giving relationship advice to another friend of ours in front of me, and he was like: ‘A guy should never tell a girl that she’s too good for him. He has to sound confident and keep her guessing.’ I just rolled my eyes and said, ‘Yeah, cause you would know.’ I definitely recall him once telling me I was too good for him.” – Patricia, University of Western Ontario ‘14
- Said to Shira, Franklin & Marshall College ‘15: “I want to be a momma’s boy forever.”
- “[My boyfriend] doesn’t like it when I wear red lipstick. He said: ‘All I see are lips! You don’t have a face! Just lips!’” – Theresa*, Kwantlen Polytechnic University’13
- “I was heading home with a guy I met at a club and as we were getting into the cab I asked him to hold my black Chanel knockoff purse. He then went, in a high-pitched voice, ‘Ooh! Nice purse!’” – Irene*, Douglas College ‘13
- “At the gym at the University of Oregon (said in a very bro-y voice): ‘Dude, I miss the Cali girls. These Oregon girls are so pasty pale, brah, like come on, get a tan.’” – Rebecca, University of Oregon ‘14
- “One time my boyfriend greeted me by saying: ‘You’re looking perkier today!’ …while eyeing my boobs.” –Janice*, University of British Columbia ‘15
*Names changed have been changed to protect identities.
If you have any funny quotes from college guys, share them in the comments!