In case you’ve been living under a literal rock, Sabrina Carpenter’s new album, Man’s Best Friend, came out Aug. 29 at midnight — and it’s an absolute hit. From the very first track, it’s clear that Carpenter isn’t holding back: the album is packed with horny lyrics that are guaranteed to make any listener blush, giggle, and maybe even “accidentally” text their FWB. But beyond the raunchy lyrics, the album also offers a glimpse into what dating is really like for women in today’s world. And spoiler alert: dating men right now is just as frustrating, confusing, and exhausting as Man’s Best Friend says it is.
Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve found myself relating to practically every lyric from every song across the entire album. From eye-rolls at childish partners to embracing the true horniness that comes with womanhood, Carpenter perfectly nails the highs and lows of modern romance. We’re currently living in an era where dating often feels less like falling in love and more like constantly begging someone to act right, and Man’s Best Friend embodies that struggle to a tee. With the kind of honesty that hits way too close to home, Carpenter’s album doesn’t just give us hit after hit, but it gives us a mirror of our own dating lives. Basically, Carpenter just handed us a cheat sheet for modern dating — horny, messy, and somehow, terrifyingly accurate.
Songs like “My Man on Willpower,” “Sugar Talking,” and “We Almost Broke Up Last Night” perfectly capture what it’s like being in an on-and-off relationship where you’re practically on your knees, begging for your partner to act right. Standout lyrics like “Yeah, your paragraphs mean sh*t to me / It’s verbatim what you said last week / It’s your seventh last chance, honey / Get your sorry ass to mine,” and “All the “I love you’s” and “I’m sorry’s” were said (Sorry’s were said) / We had our sex and then we made amends, that’s right / Called it a false alarm to all of our friends / Then we almost broke up again last night,” provide a glimpse into the reality of being in a toxic cycle — the exhausting and inescapable back-and-forth that most of us know all too well. These songs made me feel like I was in my sophomore year of college, swearing to my roommates that I was done with my ex “for good” before promising them that “he’s changed” less than 24 hours later. And call me crazy, but these tracks should’ve come with a box of tissues.
Tracks like “When Did You Get Hot?,” “Go Go Juice,” and “House Tour” basically say what women are too scared to admit to men: sometimes, we literally just want to get laid.
Now, while Carpenter is a pro at writing songs with hard-hitting lyrics, she isn’t afraid to let everyone know the other side of being a girl. Whether you’re up late at night, texting your FWB to come over as you whip out some condoms, or you’re curled up reading fanfic with your fave toy, Man’s Best Friend perfectly describes one of the most universal emotions women feel on a daily basis: horniness. Tracks like “When Did You Get Hot?,” “Go Go Juice,” and “House Tour” basically say what women are too scared to admit to men: sometimes, we literally just want to get laid. With lyrics like “Take me to naked Twister back at your place” and “I just want you to come inside (Come inside) / But never enter through the back door,” Carpenter proves she’s not just writing hits, but she’s giving us the unfiltered, shameless female perspective everyone has been waiting for.
And while we’re at it, let’s talk about how Man’s Best Friend perfectly captures the modern dating struggle — from dealing with childish men to drooling over the bare minimum. “Manchild” exposes society’s epidemic of childish men, diving into the reality of dating someone so immature that they can’t even handle the basics for themselves, and instead of being treated like their girlfriend, you end up feeling like their mom. The lyrics “Why so sexy if so dumb? / And how survive the Earth so long? / If I’m not there, it won’t get done / I choose to blame your mom,” brings me back to the time I dated a man who ate nothing but boiled eggs every morning and genuinely probably brushed his teeth three times a week. No, I’m not joking.
We as a society are at a point where we have somehow romanticized the bare minimum. At this point, I’m practically on my knees, clothes off, if a man even opens the door for me — and “Tears” perfectly depicts that.
Meanwhile, “Tears” dives into the true reality of how difficult it is to even get the bare minimum from a man nowadays. While lyrics such as “A little respect for women can get you very, very far / Remembering how to use your phone gets me oh so (Oh so), oh so hot” and “Baby, just do the dishes, I’ll give you what you (what you), what you want / A little communication, yes, that’s my ideal foreplay / Assemble a chair from IKEA, I’m like, “Uh” (Ah),” are funny and cute, this song also highlights a large truth: we as a society are at a point where we have somehow romanticized the bare minimum. At this point, I’m practically on my knees, clothes off, if a man even opens the door for me — and “Tears” perfectly depicts that.
With songs that range from being unapologetically horny to emotionally raw and gut-wrenching, there’s one common theme throughout the album: dating men nowadays kinda sucks. Carpenter captures the horniness, the headaches, the hours spent crying over a man, and the ridiculous highs and lows of modern romance. She makes it painfully clear that surviving love in 2025 requires humor, patience, and a great pop soundtrack. Once again, Queen Sabrina reminds us that sometimes, the best therapy comes in the form of a catchy, yet brutally honest pop song.