At four years old, we were herded onto rainbow rugs to learn how to share and color inside the lines — and the rest is history. We’d collaborate and play with the same people every single day. A successful lunch swap or epic tetherball showdown turned strangers into best friends. The pursuit of friendship was largely effortless.
But, after graduating college, our shared identity as students melt away, and we are no longer tethered by the constraints of an educational institution. Our community dissipates as friends pursue careers, relationships, and adulthood. However, our education system didn’t teach us how to file taxes, let alone how to make friends.
Some people say college is the prime of your life, but I refuse to begin my slow descent to madness now that I’m graduating. So, finding a new community is the first step to taking back power. After all, the 2024 Her Campus Mental Health survey of 580 Gen Zers concluded that folks with a strong sense of community report better mental health, with 74% saying that their friendships positively impact their mental health.
But, community is not created overnight and I’m not exactly the type to strike up a conversation at a coffee shop, let alone in my college classes. And, it doesn’t look like I’m being herded to any rainbow rugs anytime soon. So, what is a girl to do? Well, here are some steps to take to find people worthy of your friendship.
Volunteer
Volunteering for a local organization that you’re passionate about is an accelerated way of finding like-minded individuals who share your values. Plus, working hard toward a common goal is a great way to build comradery, trust, and friendship. Start off by showing up to volunteer opportunities and proving your commitment to the cause. Quickly, you’ll become an important part of the team. A friendship built on a shared intrinsic value is a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
Join a club
Running clubs, book clubs, art clubs — all of these clubs center around a shared hobby, but they’re all the same. They’re an opportunity to meet people who love doing the same things as you! Joining a club is a super low-pressure way of testing the waters in a new place. You can pop into a meeting, enjoy your hobby, and slither on out without any commitment to return. But, if you find a club you like, it’s like the fast track to friendship. Building relationships takes repetition, and there’s no better way to ensure that you’ll meet people again than through built-in club meetings.
Alumni Networks
Running clubs, book clubs, art clubs — all of these clubs center around a shared hobby, but they’re all the same. They’re an opportunity to meet people who love doing the same things as you! Joining a club is a super low-pressure way of testing the waters in a new place. You can pop into a meeting, enjoy your hobby, and slither on out without any commitment to return. But, if you find a club you like, it’s like the fast track to friendship. Building relationships takes repetition, and there’s no better way to ensure that you’ll meet people again than through built-in club meetings.
Make some work buddies
Work friends are the closest thing you’re going to get to your school buddies. There’s nothing better than having someone to complain about the broken coffee machine or your annoying boss with. Plus, it’ll make your job so much easier if you look forward to the people you work with. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, make an effort to make small talk with a coworker who you think seems cool. Most people are looking for some kind of reprieve from work during the day, so they’ll be keen to have someone spark up a little small talk.
Over time, your five-minute weekend recaps at the coffee machine could turn into a friendship. You can totally keep them as a work friend, or ask them to get drinks or go on a walk after work. You have a similar schedule so it might be easier to swing an outside-of-work meet-up. Plus, you’ll always have a commonality to talk about.
Regardless of which approach you take, remember that building community takes time and repetition. Think of the places you already know you’ll be spending time at frequently, and find ways to pursue friendships within those spaces. Put yourself out there as the most authentic version of yourself, and you’re sure to be met with like-minded people.