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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship When Your Partner Lives in the Same Dorm

It’s the beginning of a new school year and you and your partner are living in the same dorm. Whether this was planned or coincidental, the both of you can be entering a very exciting and experimental period in your relationship. Living in the same dorm gives you both the opportunity to spend more quality time together, but it also the opportunity to get on each other’s nerves. When it comes to any relationship, finding a healthy and mutual balance is always super important for both partners. You want to make sure you both have time for yourselves together and apart. Here are three tips on how to make your relationship work while living in the same dorm!

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential in any partnership, romantic or platonic. When you’re living in the same building or living space as your partner, it is really crucial to make sure you have limits in place, whether it be super strict or somewhat flexible. Make sure you give each other space for independent activities as well as alone time. It can be really easy to use each other as a crutch when doing social activities together on campus. It’s important that you’re attentive in maintaining your other relationships, as well as allowing yourself alone time.

Along with setting boundaries, it’s also important you make time to be with each other. If you find yourselves spending all your time together in your dorm, set time aside to go out on a date. Activities like seeing a movie, going to a museum, or just grabbing dinner at the dining hall can be beneficial to your relationship instead of staying cooped up.

Find activities you can do together

When living in the same building, take advantage of making mundane tasks more fun by doing them together. You and your SO can cook dinner, do laundry, or work on upcoming assignments together. Living in the same building can be the first step in figuring out if you want to move in together someday–while still having the luxury of living in different spaces.

It’s okay to say no to hanging out

Even though you’re living in the same building, you shouldn’t feel obligated to hang out all the time. Similar to those setting boundaries, make sure you consistently communicate with each other and do so effectively. Although it is relatively easier to make plans, you’re allowed to take a day for yourself. If you need personal space or are having a bad day, communicate these feelings to your partner if you two have made plans to spend time together. A major part of relationships is maintaining your own mental health and knowing that it’s okay to say “no” to having plans with your partner when you need to. This goes hand in hand with finding that healthy and mutual balance between you two.

Whether you’ve been dating for a week or a month, new challenges can arise within your relationship at any time. While this can be a complicated experience, there is a lot of good that can come out of it and help advance your relationship! Use this as an opportunity to become closer to one another and know what to expect in your relationship’s future.

Natalie B. Held is a senior at Boston University majoring in political science and minoring in women’s and gender studies. The B stands for Brooke except she doesn’t like Brooke. She just likes B and that’s all. When she’s not influencing, writing, or politicking—you can find Natalie scoping out new brunch spots, purchasing exorbitant amounts of lipsticks, and obsessing over the latest pink trends.