So, you ghosted someone. Maybe you weren’t feeling it, or maybe you were too busy to text — either way, if you’re reading this, you might be in need of some closure. So, if you were wondering how to apologize for ghosting someone, you’ve come to the right place.
If you’ve been living under a rock, “ghosting” is the term for disappearing from someone’s life without an explanation. But, not all ghosting happens on purpose. I get that. Sometimes, life gets in the way and communication is just the least of your priorities. However, ghosting can be incredibly distressful. Imagine how you would feel if someone just left you hanging, constantly wondering where you went wrong.
If you’ve ghosted someone and now regret it, apologizing is a mature way to take accountability and offer them closure. A genuine apology acknowledges their feelings and is important even if you don’t intend to start the relationship back up again.
If you decide to reach out, keep your message to the point but make it heartfelt. Firstly, acknowledge what you did. Clearly state that you ghosted them and don’t make excuses for yourself — and be sure to avoid emotions and blaming situations. You have to take responsibility and own up to your actions: If you were dealing with personal issues, it’s OK to briefly mention them, but don’t center the message in justifying your absence.
Additionally, make sure to not over-explain, because a long explanation can come across as you making excuses. Yes, you can even express regret and let them know you understand how your behavior may have hurt them, but after giving them space, allow them to decide how they want to respond.
When (and When Not) to Apologize:
Not every situation warrants an apology. Deciding when to apologize can be a pretty gray area and can be relatively ambiguous. If you ghosted someone recently, an apology may offer clarity. However, if this happened months or years ago, reopening the conversation will definitely do way more harm than good. At this point, the person likely doesn’t want to rehash the event, and it’s best to respect their boundaries.
Additionally, it also depends on the type of relationship you had with the recipient. If this were a brief, casual relationship, then the need for an apology depends on the closeness of that relationship. However, if the relationship was more intimate and emotional, an apology is critical. Remember: Approach each situation with scrutiny.
But what if they don’t respond?
It’s important to realize that not everyone may respond. Some people will be less open to an apology than others, and that’s OK. The goal of your apology should be to give the recipient closure rather than to expect a response out of them or to rekindle the relationship. While you cannot control how the other person reacts, you can control if and how you choose to make amends.
Ghosting can feel like an easy way out of avoiding pretty awkward situations. Instead of disappearing, in the future, try some other alternatives. So, be honest about your feelings in a kind manner. A simple, “Hey, I don’t think this is working out, but I’ve loved getting to know you,” can do the trick. Or better yet, it could just be a matter of practicing better communication. If ghosting has been a recurring pattern, it may be helpful to work on those communication skills.
By offering an apology, you can move forward with healthier relationship practices and a clearer conscience. Remember to treat others the way you’d like to be treated in terms of closure.