Bestie, Read This Before Hooking Up With Your Hometown Fling This TGE

So, you’re back in your hometown for Thanksgiving break… and feeling a bit horny, eh? No judgment here — being back home with old high school hookups and crushes can do the trick for many. That feeling is only amplified when you’re back at your hometown bar — surrounded by those same crushes and some pretty serious sexual tension — on Thanksgiving Eve. 

But don’t jump into a little rendezvous too fast. Just because the high school quarterback or captain of the tennis team is giving you the eyes doesn’t mean it’s a signal to jump in feet (or lips) first. Keep these things in mind before sleeping with your hometown hookup on Thanksgiving Eve.

Take your history into account.

Each hookup has its own special context. If you’re thinking about hooking up with someone you have a history with, you may want to examine your past relationship before you decide to make any moves. Amanda Blair, a Portland-based podcast host and relationship expert specializing in attachment theory, says, “If there’s someone you were interested in high school and they historically were horrible to you, hooking up with them wouldn’t be in your best interest.” But “if you reconnect with someone from high school without a bad history and it’s what both of you want, great!” 

Ultimately, reexamine your potential hookup’s behavior from high school. With only a few months or years between your graduation and now, you can assume their personality hasn’t changed too much – for better or for worse. So, if they were a cool friend of a friend or an old fling that just fizzled out, go for it. If they were really disrespectful to you, your friends, or your teachers but just slid in your DMs swearing they’ve changed, maybe just pass for now and grab your mini vibe.

Have a hookup plan.

So, if you’ve decided that this is a good person to hook up with, great! Now it’s time to consider some of these next pieces of advice. Before hooking up, you really want to follow the rules of ~journalism~ and know the what, when, where, and how. For example, will you be seeing this person at a hometown bar? Are you planning to be quick in the car? Or are you going to awkwardly sneak into one of your childhood homes for a quick sesh?

By having a plan, you can mentally prepare to get away from a social setting if other people will be present, and you can share your location with friends just in case you’ll be in a remote area. Being prepared in this way can make for a smooth, well-prepared hookup.

Set your expectations.

Everyone knows hookups can be super fun, but they can also be wildly complicated. While nostalgia is a strong aphrodisiac, it’s important to set intentions when meeting up with a high school crush. Do you want a quick and dirty session where you’ll never hear from them again? Or, do you hope the time apart at school might help spark more romance? It’s up to you to set your expectations and what you hope to happen after all is said and done on Thanksgiving Eve.

“If the experience isn’t well defined or clear communication about needs and expectations isn’t happening, hurt feelings and conflict are likely to occur,” Blair says. “I would encourage young [people] to not try to play cool and pretend they want something casual if they don’t, or to pretend they don’t care if they do — that only hurts themselves. The most attractive and cool thing to be is your full self, honestly and authentically without apology.” 

Additionally, Blair points out one important question to ask your hookup beforehand — STI status and history. You should make sure to know your own, too. “Get tested! The more you know, the less you have to fear,” she says.  

Be firm with your boundaries.

Blair says it’s vital to “understand your boundaries and enforce them.” This can refer to the use of protection, engaging in a sexual act, and beyond. 

“If a partner is unwilling to use protection, that isn’t okay,” Blair explains. “You deserve to be safe — emotionally and physically — and you don’t need to compromise that for anyone. You are worthy of your boundaries and your needs.”

So basically, if they say they don’t want to wear the condom, GTFO ASAP.

Additionally, no matter if you consented to a hookup over text or you’re even two minutes into it, you’re always allowed to change your mind. Blair says you “have the ability to say no without any other explanation, at any point in an experience.” Overall, whether you’re getting with someone you knew in high school, middle school, or just met at college, “both parties respecting all of those things and [being] willing to communicate is going to lead to the most satisfying sex and hookups,” Blair says.

With all of these tips in mind, enjoy your hookup, or give your crush a hard pass and enjoy just pleasing yourself. Have a happy and sexy Thanksgiving Eve. 

• sex and relationships
• Thanksgiving Breakers
• wellness