When someone asks me about my queer awakening, I cite the same story: I’m 8 years old in a dark movie theater, Amanda Seyfried is crawling on a beach toward a shirtless Dominic Cooper singing “Lay All Your Love On Me,” and with butterflies in my stomach, I am struck with the realization that I don’t know which character I have a crush on. And while the label of “bisexual” didn’t come until over a decade later, I walked away from that screening of Mamma Mia! as if my third eye had opened.
For most queer people, sexual awakenings are a canon event — and for many, they’re tied to a specific character or moment in pop culture: Megan Fox doing automotive work in Transformers, Janelle Monae in the “Make Me Feel” music video, or that (respectfully) sexy fish in Shark Tale that somehow has a waist even though she’s a literal aquatic animal.
And while sharing your queer awakening is a fun anecdote to laugh about with your friends, on a deeper level, it’s an important part of the queer experience. For many queer people, like myself, that moment is that first step you take to self-acceptance, even if it is just crushing on a certain dark-haired Kim Possible character. (Shout out Shego, for all that you’ve done for the bisexuals.)
So, I spoke to six Gen Zers about their queer awakenings — what it was about them, what that moment was like, and how these experiences shaped their identities moving forward. (Spoiler alert: There’s a specific baddie who appears twice — and I’m not shocked.)
Leah*, 24: “Casey in Atypical.”
“[Their] aura was insane. Cool, nonchalant masc. Like hello? Hot and sweet and the most perfect gay character, forever.”
Gracie, 20: “The Shakira and Rihanna ‘Can’t Remember To Forget You’ Music Video.”
“This music video genuinely rewired my brain. I remember feeling attracted to both of the women in this music video and not fully understanding why. On top of that, Shakira and Rihanna were so intimate in the video, which only awakened something more in me. Seeing two beautiful women be close and touchy made me realize at a very young age that I was some form of not straight.”
Julie, 19: “The wedding between Ruby and Sapphire in Steven Universe.”
“It made me realize that [being queer] was OK. I was convinced that it wasn’t, and Ruby was a boy. But that [wedding] made me realize that if I marry a girl, that is OK — and that liking women is OK and natural.”
Paula, 20: “Casey and Izzie from Atypical.”
“I loved how androgynous Casey was; I found that masculinity to be very attractive. With Izzie, I loved how pretty and confident she was. I loved how natural their chemistry felt and how they went from enemies to lovers. At the time, I remember feeling very attached to them but didn’t really know why. Looking back, they were definitely one of the things that made me realize I liked girls too.”
Julie A., 19: “Kim Possible and Vanessa from Phineas and Ferb.”
“They are both such baddies; they radiate such coolness that, as a kid, I didn’t know if I wanted to be them or be with them.”
Hannah, 20: “Naya Rivera and Dianna Agron playing Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray in Glee.”
“Being attracted to both of them, I knew something was going on. But seeing Santana navigating being outed in a similar way that I was, and Quinn representing a super obvious repression of her sexuality (however much so understated), I felt really seen while watching it all unfolding. Obviously, the entire show is super gay, but what those two characters did for my personality cannot go unnoticed. I know Quinn was never canon, but it is pretty obvious that something was going on. Santana often gets left out of the conversation when it comes to queer characters lately, but I will not let what she and Naya both did for queer representation be forgotten in my lifetime.”
*Names have been changed.