Starting freshman year is the human equivalent of puppies getting let loose in the dog park. They are off-leash for the first time. Every pooch is running wild trying to find their pack, sniffing butts, and inevitably humping one another. And that can lead to some wild and unhinged hookup stories.
The first week of college is destined to be one of the horniest. For many, this is the first time in 18 years that students are out of parental control and have an unsupervised space of their own. Freshmen are dropped into a whole new world with barely any rules and more people their age than they have ever seen in one place. Holy moly.
Naturally, the first act of freedom for these bright young scholars is to get down and dirty. However, this isn’t as easy as giving a dog a bone. These budding adults are dealing with countless external variables: new roommates, parties, questionable substances, identity exploration, upperclassmen, hookup culture, overwhelming options, and, of course, actual college courses!
Given all of this, those first-week hookups are bound to be interesting. With new freedom, new faces, and no idea what anyone is doing, flirty goes to freaky real fast. So, we asked 12 Gen Zers to share their not-so-fabulous hookup horror stories from their first week of freshman year — because you’re not alone in this experience.
Macy, 23: “He was spreading chlamydia around campus.”
“I hooked up with this athlete at a house party. I started having insane abdominal pain later and found out it was chlamydia! I tell him, of course, and he begs me not to tell anyone because he said, quote, ‘If coach finds out, I won’t get to play Saturday’s game.’ So he was spreading chlamydia around campus and not seeing a doctor so that he could have his five minutes in the sun at the football game. Funny story, though, I met his coach senior year at a bar and told him all about it!”
Sofia, 23: “I got diarrhea.”
“A few hours after my parents left from moving me in, my old high school sneaky link was gonna come over and I got so nervous that I got diarrhea and had to cancel.”
Luna, 21: “He chipped my front tooth!”
“I was hooking up with this guy, and he started kissing my neck and moving his way down my collar. When out of nowhere, he just bites the hell out of my neck! Not a nibble, not a hickey, a full-on chomp. I turned my head so fast to yell, and he was already leaning back to kiss me, and our teeth hit. He chipped my front tooth! The rest of the hookup, he gaslit me that my tooth was fine when I could fully feel the sharp edge. My dentist couldn’t fix it, and I have a jacked-up front tooth to this day.”
Lily, 19: “My mouth was open and my eyes closed, and I was suddenly on the ground.”
“I was making out with a guy on a stool, and I felt myself going down. The stool flipped. My mouth was open and my eyes closed, and I was suddenly on the ground. It was my first time at a college bar.”
Harper, 22: “I broke my cooch.”
“In my first week of college, I was ready. I hadn’t had sex in a while and was officially on the prowl. Finally, I snagged a junior boy at the bar. He had big muscles and was super sweet — exactly what I was looking for. We walked to my apartment and got to business. This hookup had several notable highs and lows. However, the sex was unfortunately low because it hurt so, so bad! This had never happened to me before, and I thought maybe it had just been a while. He was sweet about it, but ultimately, I told him to keep going. (Bad idea! Listen to your body.)
“Turns out my vag was torn open. I bled for days and was too scared to visit a gyno. I found out, after two more years of awkward, painful hookups, that my birth control was making it harder to get aroused and basically ruined my sex life! But yeah, I broke my cooch at my first college hookup.”
Kayla, 22: “It hit me instantly that these men were trying to initiate a threesome.”
“I was hanging out with this soccer player named John, and he invited me back to his apartment to watch a movie. Then one of his teammates, Reggie, asked if he could come too. Weird, right? But apparently, there was an extra bed, and he just needed a place to crash. Fine, whatever. I had a surprisingly fun time walking home with them. I was vibing, thinking, ‘Wow! John’s friend is so fun!’ We get back and start watching quite possibly the worst movie ever made. I’m sitting between them on the couch, and Reggie starts inching closer and putting a hand on my thigh. I’m thinking, ‘What the hell is he doing? Why is this man flirting with his friend’s date in front of him?’
“Then, boom! John starts grabbing me, too. It hit me instantly that these men were trying to initiate a threesome. Thankfully, I managed to escape the couch and pull John away for the one-on-one I signed up for… but honestly, that sex was bad too. Just a tough night all around.”
Jenny, 21: “We made out in the back of a Tesla. In broad daylight.”
“I was texting in the Honors College group chat, and ended up hanging out with a few random people during the first week, just trying to find my crowd. One of them was this guy named Jesus. He was nerdy but cute, and he’d definitely been giving me the look. One night, he offered to walk me home. I was feeling fun and flirty, so I said, ‘Sure.’ Then he goes, ‘Actually, can we stop by my car? It’s parked behind the dorm.’ We walk over, and this man pulls out a teal-wrapped, brand-new Tesla. I was like, ‘What freshman has that as their college car?’ I started teasing him, but then I saw the seats were folded down and covered in blankets. I immediately thought, ‘He’s 100% hooking up with people in this car.’
“I was still cracking jokes about it when he went, ‘We can try.’ And instead of backing out, I was 17, overly confident, and thought, ‘Why not?’ So, we hooked up in the back of a Tesla. In broad daylight. While people walked by. I got back to my dorm and immediately thought, ‘Why did I do that?’”
Abby, 23: “I bled through my clothes the whole way home.”
“I finally had real intercourse for the first time. I had a guy stick it in before, but we stopped quickly, and I don’t count that as sex. Apparently, my body didn’t either. So, this time we went at it and I ‘popped my cherry,’ but nobody warned me about the sheer amount of blood loss that losing your virginity could entail. I started bleeding all over him, his bed, and his bathroom. He called me an Uber home, and I got lost in his apartment building and couldn’t find the exit. I ended up missing the Uber and had to walk home from his apartment to mine. I had no way to communicate with anyone. I bled through my clothes the whole way home.”
Ally, 22: “The condom fell off inside of me.”
“He was so drunk he couldn’t keep it up, so the condom fell off inside of me. I couldn’t reach it, so he had to fish it out of me! My best friend was staying over too, so I almost asked her to help. He left the next morning, and we agreed to never speak to each other again.”
Sally, 22: “First-year romance often brings… surprises.”
“As a Resident Assistant (RA) in an all-freshman dormitory, I’ve unfortunately heard and seen a lot of hookups during my two years on the job. First-year romance often brings… surprises. One of my first situations of this happening to me was literally during not only the first week of classes, but also my very first week as an RA. It was late at night, and I was making my initial round of the hall. One of our responsibilities during rounds is to check all the bathrooms: the girls, the guys, and the gender neutral — adoringly labeled as the ‘Genny Neutch’ by my liberal arts school. Even back when I lived in this dorm as a freshman, that bathroom had a reputation as the hookup spot. So, when I knocked on the door and heard moaning, I wasn’t exactly shocked. I gave the awkward standard ‘One person only in there’ warning, and about a minute later, one person sheepishly exited. My partner and I decided to loop around the floor to give the situation a bit of breathing room, and sure enough, when we walked past again, the second person bolted out. We just let it go because, honestly, what else can you really do?”
Lora, 21: “I was basically trapped on the inside of my bed.”
“I had just arrived at university. I was an online student living in an apartment with girls I didn’t really know. So naturally: Tinder. It was the first guy I hooked up with in town. It was also the first guy I ever had over to my place. For context, I hadn’t had many sexual experiences then.”
“So he and I hook up. He doesn’t do much for me, but at the time, I thought that wasn’t a big deal. So by the time he and I are done, it’s getting late. We’re in my room, and I want him to leave so I can go to bed. I had never had my own place before, so I didn’t know how to kick someone out. He doesn’t catch the hint when I say I have an early morning, and eventually asks if he can sleep over. I just say yes. I had a full-sized bed. I am 5’3. He was 6’7. I was basically trapped on the inside of my bed while this large man’s feet hung over my bed. I did not sleep all night.”
Ariana, 19: “Immediately dry.”
“One guy was eating me out and said, ‘ARGH, I love this p*ssy!’ Immediately dry.”
All names have been changed for privacy. Responses have been edited for clarity and length.