For better or worse, it’s no surprise that the generation that spends the most time online is also the generation that does most of its dating online. Classic meetcutes have fallen out of fashion, and dating apps reign supreme. While some people are new to dating apps, others are downloading Hinge for the near-billionth time — and they have some serious dating app red flags to look out for.Â
It may seem daunting, but in the 2020s, dating apps are where you’re most likely to find your next significant other. Whether you’re in college or you’re navigating life post-grad, you’re going to be meeting a whole bunch of new people, so why not expand your prospective dating pool to include the whole internet (and possibly prevent some of the awkwardness from the overlap)? But before you embark on downloading the apps, there are some things you should be keeping an eye on.
If you want to avoid a rocky situation before it starts, prevent spending precious hours at your next brunch swiping through profiles instead of chatting, or want to have a good idea if one of your matches might appear in one of those secret Facebook groups (IYKYK), here are the five dating profile red flags that give Gen Z “the ick,” from dating app users themselves.
- The dreaded “Fish Photo”
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Whether it’s the classic “look ma” fish pose or a photo from a trophy hunting trip, women are clearly turned off by the appearance of any dead animal in a dating profile. “I do not want to see dead bloody animals on a profile. Deer and fish,” Mikayla, 25, says. The appearance of dead animals was also at the top of the list for Sarah H., 18, who says that some folks can make fishing and hunting their “whole personality.” It’s a cliché bad joke profile photo for a reason, guys.
- The classic “Just Ask” Profile response
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It’s all about putting in as little effort as possible. If there is nothing written in your profile, what is there to ask about? And Molly C., 20, asks rhetorically, “If they don’t know me, how would they know what I like?” It’s not a good sign if you’re responsible for doing all of the emotional labor right off the bat. “I like what you like” can also show that someone is likely to change their entire personality to mesh with yours. Beware!
- Excess party shots
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Hannah S., 19, says, “When he’s too much of a party guy, like all his profile is just him partying that’s not ideal.” This feeling was echoed by Chloe, 24, who said partying photos with groups of people, “[s]hows insecurity, and that you want your other possibly good-looking friends to be the initial attraction.”
- Plugging their social media
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For anyone on the apps, putting a social media profile in your bio signals you’re not serious and just looking for someone to follow you and boost your ego. “There are a lot of fake profiles out there that use one or two photos and then link to a fake website,” John, 23, says. More annoying than having a social media profile listed in a bio is someone who asks to add you on Snapchat right after matching. “That’s an instant no,” Eloise, 22, claims. “They only want one thing.”Â
Why waste your time going back and forth with a Snapchat just for the inevitable, “You up?” message? And why are you “rarely on here” if you’re looking for a relationship?
- questionable language
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If there is any mention of PUA (pick-up artist) or MRA (men’s rights activist) language, like talking about being an “alpha” or wanting a “submissive woman,” that’s when you should run. Language like “If you’re easily offended, this won’t work,” also signals that they may find outright offensive things funny, and will probably view you as one of their targets, Camille, 26, explains.
While there are many things to look out for in dating app profiles that scream red flags, plenty of people have found happy relationships online. Happy screening and happy swiping, besties!