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When It Is Okay (And Not Okay) To Ghost

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at York U chapter.

We’ve all been there — you meet someone new and you quickly realize that they aren’t for you. Or you ignore all the red flags and date them for a few months, but then get hit with the negative things about them all at once, almost like getting hit by an emotional garbage truck. This is when you come to the conclusion that it needs to end – fast. The easiest option would just be to ghost and never look back, but is that immature? Has the unofficial relationship been going on too long to end it by ghosting? Do they deserve more? Here are some tips on deciding whether it’s okay or not okay to ghost:

 

When You Have Only Texted With Them

Sometimes you think you are really into someone and for some reason or another your desire to continue talking with them dies down. With this option I would say ghosting is okay. If you don’t know them in real life and won’t see them again, then ghosting is acceptable here. If you do know them, then maybe say that you want to focus on your studies. Let them down easy so it’s less awkward for you in the future.

 

When They Say They Want A Serious Relationship With You After A Few Texts

ABORT MISSION! If you meet someone on a dating website and they say they want to date you right away, this could be a sign of a stage 5 clinger and you need to run the other way. I would ghost for this one!

 

Media via Giphy.com

 

When You’ve Dated For 3 Years

I feel like this should be obvious, but so many people ghost instead of facing the situation head on. Obviously don’t ghost this person. Have a long talk about why you want to break up and be completely honest. Ghosting is the last thing you should do when ending a long relationship.

 

When You’ve Dated For A Few Months

Some people may find this a grey zone. If you have been unofficial with someone but basically act like you are together, I think they deserve an explanation. Definitely don’t ghost.

 

When You’ve Been On One Date

It is totally fine to ghost someone after one date. You don’t owe that person anything so ghost away!

 

Media via Giphy.com

 

When You’ve Been on 3 Dates

After 3 dates, maybe send them a text to let them know you are not interested in going out with them again. You could say you want to be friends so it sounds less harsh.

 

When They Won’t Stop Texting You After You Tell Them To Stop

So many people do not get the hint! If you were kind enough to send them a text telling them you aren’t interested and they still message you – block, delete, ghost. It shows they don’t respect you or your boundaries, therefore, you don’t need them taking up precious time in your day.

 

Media via Giphy.com

 

When They Were Rude/Disrespectful On A Date But Want To Go Out Again

With this one, it could be beneficial to message them back and let them know you don’t want to go out with them because of how rude they were. However, you don’t need to waste time doing that if you don’t want to. So I say ghost!

 

I hope this article cleared some things up for you, so the next time you’re unsure you can just read this again! Ghosting is not always a bad thing, sometimes it is necessary and a healthy option for you and your happiness.

 

A perpetually lost writer who is just trying to make sense of it all. Never ask me for directions. 
Wilfrid Laurier University Alumna - BA Honours History & Minor in Sociology and Religion and Culture. York University B.Ed. Her Campus York U Campus Correspondent/ HSA Advisor/ Chapter Advisor.  When I'm not leading the team, advising, or writing you'll find me watching any and every reality T.V show or re-runs of Friends and Gilmore Girls. Semi-classy wine lady who thinks pineapple on pizza is a crime.