Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
/ Unsplash
Sex + Relationships

What to Do When You Send a Regretful Drunk Message

So you had one too many glasses of wine or went a little too crazy at the Friday night party with all your friends, and you made a regretful decision while intoxicated. It happens. If you’ve ever sent someone a drunk voice message, Snapchat, made an impulsive comment on their Instagram post or just a really long, badly worded text, know that it’s not the end of the world. Whether it be an ex hookup, an ex “thing”, friendship or serious relationship, we all have been there. Below are some tips and steps to take for what to do after you’ve sent the message and how to stop it from happening again.

GIF via Giphy

Severity of the Text

First, before you can take action, know the severity of your drunk message. If it was just a “hey, how have you been”, that’s really not that bad. But if it was something a little more like “I miss you” , “I still want to be with you”, or “I never really loved you”, then that’s a whole other story. Knowing the difference between the two is the first big step.

Why You Did It

The next step is to ask yourself why you did it. Did you actually miss them or was it just an emotional drunk wave of sadness passing through you at the wrong time? Did you do it out of spite or jealousy? Did you do it because you know it bothers and hurts them? Make sure you know what your intentions were when you sent it. If you really were wondering how they’ve been, it’s okay. But it’s not okay to do it to make someone else feel jealous or hurt. It often ends up not working the way you wanted; it rehashes everything from the past and prevents both you and the person you sent it to from moving on.

GIF via Giphy

Delete that Person for the Night

Sometimes we just can’t help our impulses, so to avoid another repeat, consider deleting your apps for the night where you feel compelled to reach out on. If you know you might not be able to think if whether sending someone a Snapchat video of you at the bar is a good idea or not, just be on the safe side from the get-go. Note that you can mute other accounts on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat if you don’t want their posts and stories to appear at the top of your feed, making you less likely to see it throughout your night. You can turn on “do not disturb” in iMessage chats, and turn off notifications for apps in settings altogether if you don’t feel like deleting the app itself.

Permanently Delete the Person

If you are finding yourself doing it often, you should maybe consider removing them from your life altogether for a while. For as long as you need, keep them unfriended and blocked. Delete their number and anything else you need to stop yourself from going back and reopening the wound. Stepping away from their social media is the best thing you can do for yourself to get out of the habit on trying to check on them or hurt them.

GIF via Giphy

Talk it Out with the Person

If it’s a common occurrence for you to drunk message a certain person, definitely consider asking to talk or meet up in person while sober to resolve any unsaid thoughts or feelings you need to get out in order to move on. Often times our drunk words are our sober thoughts, so getting it out there, no matter how hard it may be, is the best thing you can do for yourself and the other person.

GIF via Giphy

Apologize & Move On

If it was just a one-time thing, wait till the next morning and send a quick sorry message if you feel guilty about it. Also recognize you don’t have to apologize if it was not spiteful or rude. There’s no reason to be embarrassed or hung up about it, just think about how almost everyone has sent and received them, so you’re not alone. Consider it as a learning experience for yourself. Apologizing clears up any awkward tension and gives you a chance to explain why you did or didn’t mean to do it.

Know Your Limits

If you don’t feel like deleting your apps, blocking or removing anything from your phone, then just be conscious of how much you’re drinking and your choices. Choosing to drink less will be better in the long haul anyway: no hangover and no waking up regretting the decisions you made. Have your friends hold on to your phone for you if needed. Remember you’re not alone in your situation and it’s okay to reach out to those around you for help.

GIF via Giphy

I hope this article gave you some helpful tips on what to do the next time you find yourself in a messy drunk message situation. Talking about it with someone and facing it head on will always help. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Don’t be afraid of the potential outcome either, it’s more than likely going to be a little difficult and uncomfortable. Always listen to yourself and do what you need to do, whether it be an easy or hard decision to make.

Feimoon is in her fourth and final year as an undergraduate student at York University, majoring in Communication Studies. She is passionate about traveling, fashion, beauty, writing and spreading positivity. She is now an Alumni of Delta Psi Delta, and past President. Now she focuses on being a Co-Campus Correspondent for the Her Campus York University chapter!
Similar Reads👯‍♀️