Society has created a market out of our physical appearance and many of us are falling into this trap. We are tricked to believe that only if we are “pretty” will we be confident and successful. Today, appearance is treated as an asset, and many desire to look a certain way just to be treated better. The fact that society has driven us to want to look “pretty” objectifies us. Being “pretty” is something girls strive for because it’s seen as something that every girl inherently wants to be. But, what if I don’t care to be pretty?
What is pretty? What I call pretty is not what you may call pretty. But what you call pretty is probably what most call pretty. That is the problem. Pretty isn’t subjective anymore. Today pretty is Instagram, it’s makeup, it’s BBL, it’s botox, it’s laser hair removal. All of these things are unnatural and are furthermore promoted by various industries through their sales.
Don’t get the wrong message. I totally get that our appearance can boost our confidence, and if your appearance does that for you, that’s great. But obsessing over the idea that good looks inherently bring you confidence is unrealistic. Many of us will realize we have good looks but these looks are materialistic. It’s crazy how it intimidates others when individuals choose not to prioritize conventional beauty standards and focus on something else like their intelligence, mental health or spirituality.
As women, we are expected to want to be pretty as if that’s our main goal and purpose in life. We are fashioned to believe that we must strive to achieve and maintain good looks. But why? What if I don’t care to be pretty? Or in better words, what if I don’t care to meet your standards of pretty? Why do I have to want to be pretty in your eyes so you can be happy with me? That sounds like a fake argument, one brought up out of the blue. But really… Think about it. There are so many beauty standards that girls are persuaded to live up to. But when you think about it, why is it this way?
The beauty standard of having long hair is a prominent one that girls feel pressured to maintain. When they have long hair and cut it, they get comments such as “why would you cut your hair?”, “you look better with long hair”, “I would die to have long hair like you”, among other weird backhanded compliments. What if someone doesn’t care to have long hair? Why is someone else’s long hair so important to others when the person whose hair it is isn’t happy with it? The concept that we are supposed to look a certain way to please somebody else when it may not even please us is ridiculous.
We need to see deeper than the illusion of appearance, dismantle the appearance market and accept that appearance is not all that makes one important. The idea that women must be pretty to be successful should not be common. There is more to us than our appearance. We should all carry ourselves the way we truly want to in a way that makes us happy and comfortable.
It’s one thing to take pride in the way that we look because it makes us happy. But it’s another when we force these standards upon others and tell them the only way they will be happy, treated with respect, given attention, and appreciated is if they too do this or that. Can’t we just live with our own purpose?