Our connection stems from the fact that our shadows hold hands.
Linked, and you wouldn’t be able to tell which one belonged to who.
Our darkness was identical and he loved it.
That is where we lost ourselves,
In the quicksand of our youth, crying to be loved.
Because it all really was the same.
Except I was trying to escape, and he was clenching his fists so tightly,
Never letting go of his suffering and pain,
Choking me with his grey smoke lies.
I always came second to his emerald mistress though,
She helped him sleep at night.
But I stayed because his arms were the only ones that kept me warm.
I had no idea that you: my king, my lover, my friend, would put me through the most
As I open that rusty door from my past it creaks so loudly almost like a warning –
“Don’t do it,”
Causes my head to spin,
Weighing my options for days and nights on end.
He hurt you, but you loved him.
Is it worth digging up old corpses that have nothing nice to say but
to reveal the failure that you don’t want to face?
Their bones turned black from the anger he screamed into them.
Their hearts replaced by the memories crawling through my brain, that eat away
at my love for you.
Making me question why I even went there in the first place.
Why would I put myself through that?
I could say that I unknowingly fell in love with a man disguised as a serpent,
but then I would be lying.
These are two poems I created about a toxic person that came into my life. I learned so much from him, but the most important thing I learned was that you shouldn’t compromise your self-worth, even if you think they are your soulmate. Put yourself first, letting go can be the best thing you can do for yourself.
If you would like to read more of my poetry you can find me on instagram at @bmazz.11.11.