It’s a fact of life that people of all ages fall out. Sometimes you make up, sometimes you don’t. Friends can come and go out of our lives. Ranging from our friends to our parents, falling outs happen and the best way to deal with them is shrug them off. However, if it’s a relationship you wish to salvage, this is your chance to work out how you will cope with what can be a really upsetting situation. It helps to talk to someone if you’re feeling down. Don’t feel bad about yourself, concentrate on things you enjoy, and don’t bottle things up. People of all ages fall out for a number of reasons. If you value the friendship then it is worth trying to make up with the person. When the argument has settled down, try talking to them and figuring out why you are both not speaking with each other. Compromising with each other is key to making up. You have probably said some horrible things to each other and are both at fault, but you must get over this to move on. So how do you move on? Keep reading for some useful tips:
Imagine It From Their P.O.V
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Usually when we’re fighting, it can get hard to understand what the other person is saying in the midst of all that anger. We get so blinded by rage or even sadness that we do not give the other person a chance to speak. If, during the argument, we were to stop and think of how the other person is feeling and exactly what they mean, then maybe we can avoid the fallout to begin with. But if not, once the argument has cooled down, it can be useful to sit back and think what it was your friend was trying to tell you. Ask yourself, “How would I feel if the situation were reversed?” Would you see things the same way you do now?
Tell Them How You Feel
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Falling outs can be very difficult and cause lots of misunderstanding, but at the end of the day what is important to acknowledge is the love that you share. Whether it be a best friend or a parent, don’t let them not knowing how you feel stand in the way of you making up. If you’re in a dispute with a parent, start by telling them you love them and then proceed to explain where matters went wrong (use “I” statements to keep blame off the other person and avoid further argument). If you’re in the midst of a falling out with a friend, don’t give them the silent treatment. Even though it may seem like the easiest way to deal with the situation right now, you are sure to regret it later. Talking about your feelings can be hard, but it’s also very important to ensure that you’re expressing them.
Find a Mediator
I know when I get into a fight with my best friend I feel like there’s no one left to talk to. But if you can find a person who is friends with you and the person you are fighting with, they help mediate for you. Don’t expect them to take sides though, as they should remain neutral and hear both sides of the story, so that they are able to make fair suggestions on what steps should follow. However, in my opinion, involving a third party into your conflict should be a last resort.
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Agree to Disagree
Sure, you both said some things that hurt, but what becomes important now is being able to look past all your mistakes and think about all the reasons you love each other. Friendships come and go, yes, but why not try to fight for what’s important to you? Fighting with a parent? Those relationships need to be treasured forever. Don’t let a little thing like ego get in the way of being happy. Being able to agree to disagree is an important part of being friends/family in the long term. In any case, which is more important – ‘winning’ an argument or keeping a loved one?
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Many people will come into your life and just as many will leave. It’s so very important to remember that it’s OKAY. It’s okay to lose a friend, it’s okay to lose a parent, but it becomes a problem when you don’t make the effort to fight to keep that relationship. If you fight and the relationship still ends with a fallout then at least you can go about your life knowing you did all you could to keep it. Don’t live in regret.